10/21/21

I had a better day today.  I'm not sure why, but I'll take it.  Haven't thought about Lorie much and sometimes I feel guilty because I feel like i'm forgetting her. I usually talk out loud to her as well and I just haven't been very talkative today. Then there's the "if I think about her too much I'll start crying" thing. Death is so hard.  Having someone disappear that has sat in front of you in their recliner for the past 20 years at night...sharing tv programs, conversations, laughter, etc. is horrible. I still can't really believe it.  I don't want to believe it.  

I had the best photo pic of her that I had taken a couple years back put on a pillow and it sets in her chair.  I can see her face any time I look across from me.  This is very soothing.  I just wish i could get that special closeness i was feeling there for a little while back.  Maybe it's here and i've just gotten used to it.  Anyway...I'm glad I'm back on Daily Strength.  I'm really needing help with all this.  It makes me feel better to write about what's going on.  Baby steps...