10/18/09

I spent yesterday cleaning up my room to make room for a dresser that I need badly so today I'm going to finally break down and buy one since I made room for it and everything is all over the place in my room.  Hopefully I can get my room back together before I go back to work on Tuesday.  I just hate living in a messy room :) Oh boy here comes my deeper thoughts...It's funny how I started this project for my dresser the day after my date was cancelled.  I've been wanting a new dresser for a longtime and to clean up my room for it as well, but I chose yesterday to start this?   I can't help but think of the movie The Notebook when Allie leaves town and Noah is left alone, then he starts fixing up the old house she liked to deal with her leaving.  I mean is that what guys do?  I didn't even think about it when I started cleaning my room, but now that I'm writing my thoughts are coming to the surface.  Maybe women go shopping or whatever, I guess guys start projects to preoccupy our minds.  Sorry for all the movie references but I watch a lot of movies and the good ones are very truthful, and you can learn a lot about yourself from them. So I'm trying not to think about what happened Friday, the only thing she said that echoes in my mind is when she suggested next week.  If she was rejecting me why suggest a date so close in the future?  If it was me rejecting someone I'd say maybe some other time and leave it more open ya know?  It all seems like a blur now though, I think I just kept saying I understand, and yeah that's fine when she said next week.  I don't even remember, but she must have seen the disappointment in my face, pretty hard to hide that.  I guess that's not a bad thing though if she did, she'd realize I truly care about her and spending time with her.   The only other thing I thought about from Friday is after she said she couldn't go out I decided to go home and watch a baseball playoff game, my favorite team too.  I told the guys I work with I was going home to watch it, and I skipped lunch and left a little early, and made my OT appointment too.  I know she spoke with the guys about me not coming in Monday so I'm sure they told her I left to watch the game, I know how those guys are lol.   I probably screwed up there, or maybe not.  I'm trying not to sound like an ass, but I was willing to miss my favorite baseball team in the playoffs to go out with her.  There's not a lot of married guys that would even do that you know what I mean?  I just hope she takes it as that and not that I didn't care, because I hope she thinks of it as like wow he was willing to miss his favorite team in the playoffs play to go out with me! Well I hope I didn't sound like an ass there, but there isn't a lot of guys that would do that, it's the truth ladies like it or not.  Oh well, that's just another what if so I can't look back on it, if she knows about it I hope she takes it that way and if she mentions why I left I'll tell her what I just said and hope she realizes how much I care about her. Hopefully I get my dresser and get my room back together today or tomorrow, then OT tomorrow ugh.  I just hope they don't get too personal, I might get committed lol :) Time to rock! AC/DC - Have A Drink On Mehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayF1T_CdGro&NR=1