10/16/09

Not sure where to begin.  First off, she cancelled on me this morning in person!  I guess she couldn't call me last night so I could sleep better.  I don't know what to think, I guess I have to explain the situation first, she has a job car, which she can't take anywhere outside the job, then her own car.  She told me her sister got a flat tire so she had to take her car, leaving her with the job car so she couldn't go out and that maybe we could go out next week.  Now that could be 1 of 3 different outcomes.  1.  It was a flat tire and she still wants to go out next week.  2.  She was nicely telling me no.  3.  She has cold feet, but wants to go out.  The more I think about it she probably was being truthful, but it is still a downer and a bit hard to believe a flat tire.  I mean how often do flat tires occur, seriously?  Right before our date too?   I'm really trying not to think the worst of her, so I think what I'll do since she said next week, I'll let her bring it up to me at some point.  If she does I'll know she's truly interested, if she doesn't then I guess I'll say fuck it!  That might sound like I'm playing games, but at least I'll know.  I mean if she is interested she should bring it up again?  If not I almost have to take it as a rejection right?  So that's that... As for my OT, I came home and made an appointment for Monday at 10am, I could have gotten in Thursday after work but I can't wait that long so I took Monday off instead.  Not sure I'm going to like this OT, I read a bit about it on the internet and it seems as if they pry into your personal life too much to see where your mental state is, but whatever.  I already know I'm crazy, they don't have to pry too much to figure that out lol. Sorry I have too...just letting off some frustration.  The song doesn't reflect my thoughts completely :)  Theory Of A Deadman - No Surprise http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St5AQE8IRWY