10/13/16

So I'm new to this, but today I just really need to write stuff out because for some reason I can't stop crying.  My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and have been for a year and a half.  We've been trying to go back and forth to see each other as much as possible, since he's in the UK and I'm in the US.  We've been further apart than ever for the past couple months, and will be until December.  Today, we were having a conversation about our future, which we've already had before.  We have already decided that by 2021, we would be in the same place.  We still aren't sure which country to move to.  After having a really great conversation with someone, I realized that I would probably be happiest joining him in the UK.  My field allows me to work wherever there's a major city, and I fell in love with living in London or at least close to there.  I told him that I would be willing to move there, and instead of the happy reaction I thought would happen, it dissolved into disagreements about making sure we move and take that step when we're financially ready.  I understand his side of it and wanting to do that when we're financially sound but as a US college student I don't know when I'll have paid off my debts and will be "financially sound."  He assured me that our 5 year plan still hasn't changed but it makes me slightly worried.  I have a headache now from crying and am trying to stay normal.  I love him so much and will do what I have to to be with him, but distance for that amount of time will be hard, and I don't know if I can handle a greater amount of time than that.  Typing everything out is really theraputic, but I just could really use a hug right now.  In the back of my mind I know our relationship is fine but I can't stop crying.