1 slip up
I had 1 slip up last night. I watched porn but only because I heard reality star Mimi Faust from Love & Hip Hop Atlanta made & sex tape & I wanted to see if it were true. It was & I give her credit it was better than Kim K, but I wasn't turned on. I actually thought how could she stoop so low as a mother & respected cast member. But I wont judge her because we all have demons. I just pray everyday to overcome mine, but if I caught no feelings or desires then maybe Im doing something right. but I know my porn battle is not over by a long shot, but Im not afraid of what I'll face either....
Replies
very well said. and for that matter if you watched it and it didn\'t trigger your addiction OR that spiral of guilt/shame we all know so well, it was pretty much a positive. or at least a neutral? Certainly not a NEGATIVE anyways.
It\'s like an alcoholic having a sip of wine and saying \"Meh, not in the mood\" and pouring the rest out. So 2 thumbs up!
Thanks RichardRyder88!! yeah I just was like ok another \"celebrity\" did a porn for whatever reason & that was the end of it. I sometimes wonder why watch porn when Ive seen the same positions for years or masturbate when Im going to have guilt/shame 5sec afterwards? Im not missing out on anything from porn & I\'d rather be with my boyfriend than with myself.
You did just remind me of one of my favorite jokes from a Woody Allen movie. \"What\'s wrong with masturbation, it\'s sex with someone I love.\"
But seriously, many of us use P & M to recreate some of our past in a way that doesn\'t hurt, it sort of lets us rewrite the past, erase it, block it, etc. And I\'ve known people who used it that way, DIDN\'T get the guilt/shame cycle, and could do all this without their lives becoming unmanageable. It reminds me of an Afghanistan vet I chatted with once that when his PTSD bothered him he would play CALL OF DUTY for a few hours and he said it helped him focus on being home in the States.
So down the road if total abstinence doesn\'t work for you, maybe using it as a tool to recover from other things in a manageable guilt free way would be worth exploring. Just a thought