1 more year later!

I'm back! I've been getting on with things, and dealing with life, and our "New Normal" but something came up just recently, and I'm thinking again, about friends and family, and how many friends I've lost due to my supporting my spouse. boo hoo! I know, I'm so lucky to have the life that I do, and the partner I love, and he's back, and we're together, and things are GREAT! but I've recently been trying to invite family and friends to my mom's 80th birthday, and realized that for some, they won't come, because of what they think they know about my choice to stay with my partner, after the bad choice he made after his concussions, and the consequences (correctional hospital) of this same action. they only know what they read in the papers, they've never come forward to ask what went wrong, and how I could possibly stay with someone after they went through what we went through. But I don't feel like I should have to defend my actions if they can't ask the questions. they've judged me based on what they read in a newspaper, and made their own decisions about what happened. Therefore they're not my real friends. Aren't real friends supposed to stand by you no matter what? as long as no one is getting abused, or breaking the law - AHAH! that's it - maybe there is a limit to what you're going to tolerate, in friendship, if someone does break the law, regardless of why, you DROP your friends, if they are with someone who broke the law. that's the code. I even thought of it myself. So what if your friends spouse has alzheimers, or mental illness, or autism, or has a break-down, and does something awful. what if they were drinking, and had an accident and killed someone - do you drop them as your friend? because I can't think of anyone that was my friend before 2010 that is still my friend now. Except for one, and she knows the whole story, and knows me, and refuses to judge, accepts my decision, and supports me through our combined love of horses, and her recent loss of her husband to cancer. THAT IS A FRIEND. But what of the others - am I supposed to bow down to their decisions, chase after them and beg them to hear my side, make explanations, (read excuses) for my choices, and for his behaviours, and basically go through the whole trial, judge, & jury thing without ever stepping into court? NOT - I'm not doing it. I am a rational intelligent human being, and if I choose to be with someone who broke the law (by accident - without thinking, and who NEVER intended to hurt anyone) that's my choice. My prerogative. it doesn't mean I'm stupid, and i don't deserve your friendship?  because that's what you're showing me.  I get to believe what I believe - and what 9 Neurologists and 2 Psychiatrists, and countless other doctors have basically proven, that he didn't intend to do this, and he's not a monster, and he would NEVER have done this in his right mind, and that Concussion caused his wires to cross, and for him to say the wrong thing to the wrong person. THAT'S IT - nothing else. But that's not what these other people think, or believe. And if they can't get beyond their prejudices that what the newspapers reported was ugly, and possibly dirty, and nasty, and ASK - they don't deserve to be my friend.