1 day at a time
20 days sober nowfeels good pysicallyhurts mentally thobut i know it will get better as the days passbloody hope solot of other stuff going on atmbut dont want to share it yetmebbe one day who knowsbut with the help of aa and my own strengh i will combat this bloody illness
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Hi Claire...I have found that journaling has really helped me..when I get an AA sponser I\'ll send her the link so she can keep up with my progress. GL to YOU and congradulations! Keep it up for those precious little girls :) best Donna
well it exactly 3 wks from now when i entered detox
i remmemeber it vividly
i was shake rattle and rolling waiting to see the doctor so he could give me some diazapam to help with the withdrawel
i remmemeber 2 clients coming into the detox area and being nice to me and encouraging cus i felt like death warmed up to be polite
i went outside with these guys for a smoke and they were jus talking to me and helping me
then i saw the gp and he got me detox meds sorted out
then i got breathlysed again cus it was a 4 hr journey to get their so i had to have a drink to get their
when they 1st breathlysed me at 2pm it was 86. so i had to stay in the detox bit
they breathlysed me agian bout 6pm and it was 34 so i was allowed to my room so i could unpack and settle in.
well i should say that i was allowed to go to my room the clients their took all my clothes and stuff down. they wouldnt let me do anything cus i was too unwell. bless them
and then the hell began
oh boy i have never expereienced withdrawel like i did.
frightened the hell out of me
thought i was gonna die at one point.
i remmemebr asking for a prn and the nurse said ill have to take your bp 1st and i was like jus give me me meds to stop the shakes. well he took me bp after the 6th time. it wouldnt read cus i couldnt stop the shakes. and when he finally did my bp was 160 over 130. well ive never seen a nurse run so fast to get me a diazapam b4. apparently i was minites of having a bloody seizure and cus i was so underweight well ye could of ended up in normal hosp.
he apologised lata for doubting how i felt.
well gonna leave it their for the mo cus im out in a mo . got me an aa meeting to go to. and aye i need it.
talk lata
been to me aa meeting
was a really good one tonite
we talked about step 2
brought me my 1st book the big one to read
and got me some more new friends and their phone numbers
feel at peace with meself atm
and it is a good feeling
feels good to be sober writing this atm
this time 3 wks ago i was arguing with the nurse on duty to give me some meds
now im at peace not shake rattle and rolling and feel good.
but still mindfull to take it a day at a time
Hi Claire. The cravings still hit me, intensely at times. It does hurt to deny one\'s self the immediate pleasure that drinking brings. Alcohol is poison, though, literally. It has that effect on the mind & body eventually.
I found the last paragraph you wrote inspirational. Thanks.