1-9/1-10 2016

So my goal is to write daily in here just so I can get use to be open and honest about this in my life. So last 1 came over again and we talked about the situation of why I lied. 1 and I have been broken up for like maybe 2 months I think I'm not to sure. But I came to realize that I was hanging with this other girl to see if I could like someone else. Now nothing happened with girl. And  apart of me did like her a little but not enough to fill the gap in my life that 1 could fill. I know that I hurt one alot with my lies and so on but she was really hurt about me hanging with this other girl and I understand why. I don't talk to this girl anymore she has been cut out of my life. I've come to understand that my fear of letting her down or not being good enough for her is killing my relationship with her. All she wants is honesty and I want to give her that. And I just need to be comft with that. She loves me she told me that and I love her. And no matter what happens I will always be there for her. I want to show that I can beat this lying habit be a good boyfriend   and at some point a good husband. Someone who can have kids with and someone who can be looked up to.