1/8/16
Well, I'm still feeling down about my gal leaving for Florida next week. Didn't think it would bother me this much, but I'm writing about it, its all I can do to stay sane.
Tomorrow is her birthday party which should be fun, I need something to stay positive. I don't even want to go because I don't want to say goodbye on Sunday. I wish last weekend was goodbye because I got through that without crying. Not sure I can do that Sunday if she starts crying...
I'm thinking now, maybe I moved too fast, maybe I fell too hard in love. I've never been this close to any woman in my life, this is all new to me. She fell pretty hard too though, she doesn't even want to go to Florida she told me.
I'm not even talking that much to her on the phone and text because I know she's leaving next Friday. It's just making it harder if I talk with her too much. I'm trying not to be an ass though, but she knows something is wrong.
I think goodbye has to be quick and painless Sunday, might be harsh, but I just have to say well I'm going home, be safe, I love you, and walk away before I lose it...I really need to be a man here.
At my Grandpa's funeral 7 years ago I never cried, why? Because I knew he would have kicked my ass, he was a tough man but sweet. That and I thought of things I shouldn't have, like times he yelled at me when I was young when I got in trouble. But it worked, I never cried...
For her, there isn't any bad things I can think of, nor do I want too, so this goodbye, though not as extreme will be tough. I'd hate to cry Sunday though over this when I didn't even cry at my Grandpa's funeral.
Maybe I should just keep saying that? Hey man, don't cry over this when you didn't cry over your Grandpa...Yeah maybe I'll do that...
I'll journal about it Sunday night or Monday and let you know how it went...
Tomorrow is her birthday party which should be fun, I need something to stay positive. I don't even want to go because I don't want to say goodbye on Sunday. I wish last weekend was goodbye because I got through that without crying. Not sure I can do that Sunday if she starts crying...
I'm thinking now, maybe I moved too fast, maybe I fell too hard in love. I've never been this close to any woman in my life, this is all new to me. She fell pretty hard too though, she doesn't even want to go to Florida she told me.
I'm not even talking that much to her on the phone and text because I know she's leaving next Friday. It's just making it harder if I talk with her too much. I'm trying not to be an ass though, but she knows something is wrong.
I think goodbye has to be quick and painless Sunday, might be harsh, but I just have to say well I'm going home, be safe, I love you, and walk away before I lose it...I really need to be a man here.
At my Grandpa's funeral 7 years ago I never cried, why? Because I knew he would have kicked my ass, he was a tough man but sweet. That and I thought of things I shouldn't have, like times he yelled at me when I was young when I got in trouble. But it worked, I never cried...
For her, there isn't any bad things I can think of, nor do I want too, so this goodbye, though not as extreme will be tough. I'd hate to cry Sunday though over this when I didn't even cry at my Grandpa's funeral.
Maybe I should just keep saying that? Hey man, don't cry over this when you didn't cry over your Grandpa...Yeah maybe I'll do that...
I'll journal about it Sunday night or Monday and let you know how it went...
Replies