1-27 self worth,fear, valuable,feeling wanted

So I've been thinking alot about fears,success,self worth, valuable and alot of how these reasons at least for me make me lie about things. So let me begin with some personal info on my life to this very moment(or at least the big events that I can remember.  So when I was born I remember at the age of like 4 or something being homeless living in a car at my mom's job which was taco bell. Then my mom worked her ass off at burger King we ended up getting a place at some point.  My mom kept working for burger King and she ended up going to running all the bk in the portland area which is pretty good making tons of money. My brothers and I had been spoiled. Always getting new stuff and our own never having to share  always in with the latest fashion but like anything if you do anything to long you get burnt out. And that's what happened. My mom decided to leave bk even thou if she would have stuck it out for three more years she could have retired at an early age. So at these point we had a nice big house in a nice area she had brand new cars and everything.  But slowly  I started to notice things changing we ended up selling the house, then the cars we ended up not going on vacations anymore. So I get to being maybe Sophomore In high school and we end up losing the apartment cause my mom wasn't paying the bills instead she went out to the clubs with these so call friends. So we became homeless again both my brothers went and stayed with there dad's and I didn't know my dad so I decided to move in with my best friends house. At this time I started to drink heavily and partying alot. High school ends I get my own place with my brothers and some friends and continue to party just living a super destructive live style. Then at some point I meet these girl who I fell in love with and I decided to sober myself up clean up and move in together and we did. Life was great together dated for around 5 years and we decided that we should kinda bring up the idea about kids/ getting marry. But then she cheats on me and gets pregnant and ends up marrying some guy. So of course I get kicked out of my place couch surfing for a few days till I move back in with my mom. I fell in to a depression gained weight and really wasn't doing much with my life. Then I started to lose weight so I join a martial arts acdemy plus I wanted to gain confidence and so on then about a year ago I met this girl who you guessed I met 1. But then I started to lie about things to her and I didn't know why I was. So we broke up and I'm still in contact with her she still loves me and wants this work out.
 So why did I say all these. After my second session with my therapist I started to realize that I was life because I felt unwanted that I didn't feel valued, and that I was afraid of letting especially girls/woman to close to me because of my experience before. Now I'm not blaming my mom or ex for doing anything but I really believe that these moments really effected me in some way. I always felt like I was never good enough for 1 always felt like I have nothing to offer her and so I would lie and say I have this or that to make myself feel valued.  1 and I broke up and was always telling me move on see other girls and so on. And then I started to hang out with this other girl because she made me feel important and valued even thou I kept telling 1 that I loved her and no one else and that I would wait. Now me and this other girl nothing happened between us but I lied about it to 1 cause I didn't want to lose her cause I come to find out she loves and was expecting us to be together. (Hope I'm not losing you yet) so 1 breaks down and tells me she loves and wants us to be together and that she will give me time and space and she needs time to so we can make sure this is what we want. And it is. 
 So for the longest time I was going on thinking that I was unworthy, not valued,of being around 1. I mean my dad disappeared my mom kinda put my brothers and I 2nd and this girl who I was going to marry betrays me. So I started to believe it and I would make myselfseem like I was but lying. But then I started to think you know what I'm very worthy of being with 1 that I'm a valuable person that I've gone through hell in back and I'm still alive and sober with great friends and an amazing girl pushing me to be honest so we can be happy together.  I feel like I'm very Successful  I've beaten the odds of Alcoholis,  Depression, and coming up from the streets. I may not have the best job or the best car bUT I have something that money can never buy. Determination  to kick this lying bs out the door. Not feeling valuable really comes down to how I see my life. I give myself value. I believe in myself that I can do anything sure I have failed at this before but this time it's different cause I know what I'm capable of doing.
So I'm sure I jumped all over the place with this entry but to hell with it. I'm damn good person who has much to offer and I'm no longer feeling lost or depressed, or not important. I'm very important my life has meaning and I will beat this habit and I have been beating . I know my days of lying are over. Thanks so much for the support  keep it up guys I'm pulling for everyone!!! 
 P.s. Sorry if I misspelled words or if it just drags on I'm not the best writer.