1/2 way through 2ww

Well I have 7 more days. I will test first think sunday morning. I am scheduled for am MRI next monday so its a good reason to test anyways but i will be in CD 30 then also. I am still pretty positive about getting my BFP. Yesterday I had mild cramping. Put I totally feel like that was a good  sign. Like it was implanting. I would have been 10dpo so that sounds about right. I have been having rouble speeling but i dont know what that is from. I could be totally crazy and it all be in my head but for rightnow i am still confidant. I also had a major revelation saturday while wating lunch with a girl friend of mine. HAd we never had IF peoblems we would have never looked into adoption. Never would have thought aboutit, But this past years i hav ebeen fighting IF and it seems like God alos. My faith has been tested and tried I have been mad at God because i couldnt understand why he was doing this to me. I blamed him and didnt feel loved my him. When everyone said God has a plan I said well its not a very good one and when they said in his time i said his timing sucks. I have been mad and feeling distant from GOd. i just have npt felt like he cared. Well whil etalking to my friend it hit me. Had i not went through IF we would have never thought of adoption. And God has put it on my heart that tere is a special child out there that he ppicked out for us. I had to go down this path because none of the other ones would lead me to the child God picked our for us. At the tim eyou cant understand what he is doing. At the time it doesnt make sence but knowing has givin me a sence of peace that i have so despertly wanted. Even if I dont get my BFP i will be ok and the world wont end because i know that there is still that child out there waiting for us. Im so thankfull for God for clearing this up for me.