1-17-2016 commitment

So 1 and I have been arguing because I can't give her a good reason why I didn't have sex with the other girl. I kept saying that the opportunity never presented to and we didn't make the move to do so. Plus the fact that I just didn't try. Anyways I come to see that one I was afraid of being rejected if she didn't have a boyfriend that other girl then yeah I think I would have. I can't give a a for sure because it would have to be in the moment kinda of a deal. Other thing is commitment. Now that might sound weird seeing that all I want is to be with 1. But I realized that I have other commitment issues.  That's  why I didn't allow myself to really push to have sex with this other girl cause I really didn't commit to it also why I failed so many times at seeking help for this lying issue that I have. What makes the difference now is that I'm committed to doing  this.  Now my commitment issues is not fully going through something not falling through my actions . Anyways the day is still early I haven't talked to 1 much today but I'm assuming she will text in a few and I'll say everything about my issues. I've also been looking to set up to meet a therapist. To talk about what's going on and to hold me accountable for my actions. Anyways thanks for reading everyone I'm sure I'll write in here again later tonight