1-16-2016

So today is an ok day. 1 and I are having a little argument. She thinks I'm hiding stuff as our his to shows she's normally right. But since being caught in my lie I have left everything out on the table. I've completely open myself up and my armor is longer up. I'm not one to ever cheat or touch another girl sexual unless she was my girlfriend. She thinks that I did because this other girl who goes to the same gym as us is a friend and completely ignoring me. Which I'm fine with her ignoring me I don't care but 1 doesn't understand why she would be so afraid of her unless we missed around and she's afraid that she would find out. But that's not the case I never touched her in a sexual way and I completely understand what 1 is talking about I understand where she is coming from I really do. Unfortunately I will not tell a lie to save us so who knows what will happen. She says that she doesn't want to talk to me till I'm completely honest. But I have been is the thing. Geez why did I let my life get so out of control. Why did I lie so much I should have kicked this habit in the ass and said no I will not lie. I'm doing that now thou and I just hope that at the end of this she is here.  I know I spend alot of time here writing about her but damn she's so important to me and I can't imagine my life with out her in it. Since she's been talking to me and telling me she loves me I've been so happy the part that wants to lie doesn't even show up. And that's the truth right there. I know that there's no magic pill or no amount of writing that will kick this habit. It's a just decide to do it thing. Let your self be uncomfortable no matter the situation. So I make this promise tight here right now. That I Anthony Ramirez will never lie to 1 and to be open honest and truthful to her and that no matter what happens I will continue to be on the path