Young Widows Community Group
This is a group for people who lost there partners at a young age. Come here for support and to offer encouragement to other people who have lost their partners.
My husband, age 44, died on 2/24. I'm 37 and we have three children, ages 14, 12, and 4. This April we would have been married 20 years. While his health had been going downhill slowly over the last couple of years, his death was a complete shock to everyone. He went into the hospital with a simple cellulitis infection, developed sepsis, his body went into shock trying to fight the infection. This caused him to go into multi-organ failure. He went in hospital on a Wednesday and he was gone on the following Wednesday. He would've never dreamed in a million year that he wouldn't be coming home. Losing someone you love is hard enough, but the sheer unexpectedness is gut-wrenching.
We met while I was in high school, married once I graduated, and I have had the privilege to spend the last twenty years with my soul mate. I just have this huge hole in my heart right now. There are some days where I only cry while I'm in the car on the way to/from work. Then, there are some days I wish I could just drown in a puddle of tears and die. But, then I think of my children and I pull myself together. I've began keeping a journal by writing to him daily. This helps some.
I just have this huge ache in my heart and it just seems so surreal that I will have to live my entire life without him making me laugh, giving me a hug, or telling me he loves me. It hurts even worse that I won't be able to tell him how much I love him and how much he meant to me.
I'm just hoping that someone may give me some insight as to how to survive the days.
Thank you.
We met while I was in high school, married once I graduated, and I have had the privilege to spend the last twenty years with my soul mate. I just have this huge hole in my heart right now. There are some days where I only cry while I'm in the car on the way to/from work. Then, there are some days I wish I could just drown in a puddle of tears and die. But, then I think of my children and I pull myself together. I've began keeping a journal by writing to him daily. This helps some.
I just have this huge ache in my heart and it just seems so surreal that I will have to live my entire life without him making me laugh, giving me a hug, or telling me he loves me. It hurts even worse that I won't be able to tell him how much I love him and how much he meant to me.
I'm just hoping that someone may give me some insight as to how to survive the days.
Thank you.
First I'd like to express my condolences, I am so very sorry for your loss. I understand the unexpectedness. I lost my husband at 30, I was 25, we had been married for about 1 month. It hasn't been quite a year yet, but he pain will lessen. I know you probably can't imagine how that will be possible, but I think you just become a very different person, and it hurts, but you can function again. Eventually you start seeing glimmers of hope and new desires for happiness. I kept a journal and wrote to Ben as well in the beginning, it can offer some comfort. I read many many books on grief and grieving at the time, not all good. But one that really helped me is "a grace disguised" by Jerry sittser, and the sequel "a grace revealed". My faith has been beaten down to nothing, but I was able to gather a bit of the authors confidence and faith. Get through every single moment one at a time. It's ok to live task to task and breath to breath. Just hang in there, He is watching over you and your children, and you can tell him how much you love him every single day. You can tell him anything really, and I'm certain he'll hear you. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. If you need someone to talk to please don't hesitate. We're in the same boat.
It's so hard to feel good about something because you feel so guilty that he's not here to enjoy it. For instance, before he passed he was beginning to become so optimistic that his health was improving. We'd planned to do some improvements to our house, yard, etc. Now, I just don't have the heart to do any of those things. Mainly because he won't be here to enjoy it. I guess this will be a feeling that will slowly fade away with time.
Again, thank you so much for listening and responding. I have friends that have lost children and I know I can't even compare my loss with theirs. So, it's nice to speak with someone who has been there and gone through all of the trials that I'm about to experience.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers as we all try to find strength to go on. You are not alone.