I'm sorry for your loss. One thing that is difficult to work through is changing your path in life. I am 2 years past losing my husband and its still hard figuring out what my future will be or what I want it to be. If you haven't gone to counceling yet I highly recommend it. It helped me to get on a path to forgiving and understanding and realizing it's ok to feel how I feel. Everyday will be a struggle for you for awhile. But each day if you try, will get a little better. Soon you will be back to somewhat of a life again, not the same, but manageable. Very sorry for your loss. Good luck.

I am so sorry for ur loss ... Its 5 months today... n it feels like eternity... i am so depressed n we ve a 4 yr old daughter... guess we r the unfortunate ones.. god has been really cruel on us...
My husband was 30 yr old,, we were married for 6 lovely yrs... n now i am all alone with only his memories...
memories r d only thing we r now left with...
take care...

You described exactly how I feel. It has been 9 months since the love of my life passed away, and I still feel like I can't think of a reason to live. We planned to get married 2 months after he passed away. We planned our entire lives together, and now I feel incomplete. I agonize imagining my life without him, and I still hate the reality of it.

I miss and love my soulmate so much. I'll never stop loving him. I don't think i could ever consider my life with someone else, I feel like I don't have a heart to give because I already gave me heart to someone, and my heart belongs to him. I'm not going to force myself to imagine my life with someone else because it's my life!

My advice is stay true to yourself through this journey of grief. People will think they know what's best for you, and know what you need... but be in touch with yourself, because these are your feelings, and you are the one experiencing your own pain, nobody else. People will have certain expectations for you to how fast you should be moving on, how you should grieve and so on. Make sure you always feel comfortable, because I know how fragile you must feel.

I'm taking anti-depressants too. I feel like I'm a zombie too, but I'm worse if I don't take them. A shipwreck.
I am so sorry for your loss, I'm here if you need to talk you can message, thinking of you... hugs

thank you all for your replies. i found christmas awful. i just dont know what to do. i miss lewis so much and i dread the thought of being without him. ive started to realise that im slowly blocking friends/family out, i do not know why im doing this? i do not block my grief out i want it to come, when i cry i feel a tiny release.
as i have quit my job i just find that im shutting myself in and dont awnser the phone to friends. i get very angry as they all have there partners and feel that they take them for granted. could this be why i have started to ignore them? Im so confused with all these new disgusting feelings