Young Widows Community Group
This is a group for people who lost there partners at a young age. Come here for support and to offer encouragement to other people who have lost their partners.
Hi, my name is Shelly and I just lost my husband of 18 years on 1/11/16. I am 34 and he was 36. We have two girls 14 and 10 years old. I am crying as I write this because I never thought that this would be my life story. I am at the point where I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I haven't gone back to work yet, I cry everyday and have nightmares at night. I really break when I see my children cry. I am trying to be strong but inside I feel empty. My husband was my soul mate, my best friend, my life. I don't know how to run a household by myself. Just overwhelmed.
My husband of 19 years (our 20th anniversary is next week) passed away 2/24/16 at the age of 44. Like you, I never thought I'd be a widow before I reached age 40. While his health was not the best, his death was sudden and unexpected.
We have 3 children, 14, 12, and 4, and it scares me to death knowing that I will be their sole caretaker for the rest of my life. Like you, I've never run the household on my own. He was a jack-of-all-trades. If the car broke down, he fixed it. If there was a hole in the roof, he repaired it. We've always been a team and we always worked every problem out together. I just feel lost, heartbroken, nervous, scared, and confused right now.
I wish I could offer you some sort of magic formula that could erase all of the pain and heartache. I am still fairly new to this unfortunate club. But, I have gotten some great insight from others that have already made the journey that we have just begun. The one theme that seems to carry from person to person is that time does not close the hole that is left in your heart, but it does make life more tolerable.
Last Wednesday marked the first full month since he's been gone. There are some days that I can make it through with only crying on my way to/from work. Then there are others that I just cry all day long. I have been writing letters to him in my journal and that seems to help me clear my heart and I feel that I still have a connection to him. I've also returned to our church, and they've all embraced me and my children with open arms. Their support system has been absolutely wonderful.
I want you to know that you and your family will be in my prayers tonight. Please don't hesitate to write me if you need to vent or if you're having a really bad day (which is probably every day, right now).
Kathy
Shelly