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not sure why i call everything chapter one but i figure the title is the least of my worries with these lame attempts lol.
Chapter one
"I just know I'm gonna get laid tonight," kyle told himself as he started his car on the way to work. Tonight was the big party, at his girlfriend's house, and he was sure this would be his lucky night. After years of listening to his friends at work, his high school buddies (when he was still in school), and seemingly everyone he knew, brag about it, it was finally his turn.
Kyle had never had much luck with girls. He didn't feel comfortable talking to them and often felt like they were making fun of him. Even his sister, Jill. Especially his sister. She was only 12, half his age, but she was always laughing at things he said, teasing him because he couldn't read as well as she could. He'd hear her talking and giggling with her friends and sometimes he just knew they were talking about him. Plus she was always losing that stupid "american girl" doll she still played with. "have you seen kelly?" she'd ask him and their parents. Then she'd find her where she'd left her.
But today was his day. As he pulled in to work and saw his girlfriend's car there he felt like he could put all that crap behind him tonight and start fresh. As he walked in he saw her at the first register. She wasn't scanning anything so she smiled and waved him over. She leaned in and whispered "hey handsome, you ready for the party tonight?" kyle nodded and smiled. "you remember the stuff I want you to get?" he nodded again. It was more than usual today, party snacks and that sort of thing, but still easy for him to hide in his book bag without the manager seeing him. Sue was always so happy when he got stuff for her. She always had a big hug for him, sometimes a kiss on the cheek, and she'd call him "handsome" or "sweetie".
Fortunately the day flew by, since there was lots of shelf-stocking to be done and the parking lot was full of carts most of the day. Why people couldn't walk 20 feet themselves was beyond kyle but it sure kept him busy doing it for them. Before he knew it, it was time to go and he was in his car again, following the directions to sue's house from the flyer they'd all gotten.
When he pulled in front of her house, kyle was amazed how many cars were there. He rushed up, rang the doorbell and was greeted at the door by sue. "Hey stud, did you bring the stuff?" he smiled and handed her the bag. She kissed him on the cheek and ran into the kitchen with it.
Kyle always felt awkward when he got to a party and people were already there. He stood in the doorway for awhile and then started walking around, looking for people he could talk to. He saw a group of people he recognized sitting on the couch and started toward them. One of them looked his way and then looked away again. He went closer and coughed, hoping they'd notice he was there and invite him to sit with them. The one who'd looked before said "hey dude how you doing" but didn't wait for him to answer before talking to the others again.
He heard Sue talking in the kitchen so he went in to say hi. She said "hey Kyle are you having fun? A bunch of the guys are playing beer-pong downstairs, you should totally check it out". so he started downstairs. On the way down he saw lisa, a girl who was always nice to him but hadn't been working there long. Sue didn't like her and said she was a snitch so kyle kept his distance from her too.
Downstairs the beer-pong was in full swing so kyle asked if he could get in on it. They said "hey, totally dude. Next game okay?" so he found a seat. A few games went by but he figured they must be playing best of 5 so he waited patiently. Before long there was more beer on the carpet than the table so someone screamed for sue and she came down with paper towels. She handed them to some guy and he handed them to kyle and said "thanks man". while he was on the floor soaking up beer someone yelled "cleanup in aisle 7" and everyone burst out laughing. Kyle hit his head on the table sitting back up and everyone laughed even harder. He peeked his head up to see sue holding a guy's shoulder and burying her face in his chest, while covering her mouth to block the laughter. He said "hey sue, you wanna take a walk with me" and she said "sorry kyle, maybe after work one day". he started upstairs, peeked back down and saw her laughing again and shaking her head.
Kyle figured he'd check out the scene in the back yard. He found his boss out there with some of the older employees and figured he'd say hi. "hey kylie" his boss exclaimed. Kyle hated that he called him that but was glad to see a friendly smile. He said "I got all those shelves stocked that you asked me to" and sat down , happy to have found something to talk about and someone to talk with. "atta boy" said his boss, patted him on the head and said he was going to get another beer.
In the silence that followed "clean up in aisle 7" rung out from the basement, followed by another hearty laugh. Kyle pretended he was going to explore the back yard, found the side gate, and got in his car.
The drive home was one of those times when kyle just wanted to be rid of everything. As he drove he opened his windows, cranked his radio, shook his head and sung/screamed along to the music. But the thoughts came like they always did. The other parties where he felt just as alone, just as intrusive. The girls he asked to dance who just walked away or danced like they were being led to the gas chamber. The guy who pissed on the door of the stall he was in instead of waiting for him to be done. The year he played high school sports, the guys from the other school who were supposed to stay at his house for 3 days during the tournament , but disappeared after the first night. The exams that everyone else had finished and he sat alone, having barely started. Time after time when he felt like a hopeless loser, each getting piled atop one another, then shuffled and stacked anew with each new addition. "why the fuck do I even bother" he told himself.
As he pulled up to his house, kyle saw the lights still on inside. his parents met him at the door. He wasn't that late so he knew he wasn't in trouble. "hey champ" his dad said, "You're home early so we're going to catch the rest of the party at the Carlson's". "jill's watching tv in her room so help yourself to dinner and make sure you lock up before bed". "okay, have fun" kyle said and sat down in front of the tv.
He flipped through all those god-damn channels but couldn't find one decent thing to watch. Plus he could barely concentrate because his sister's tv was so loud in her room. He settled on some lame ass comedy and got himself a beer. He'd hoped it would make him feel better but it didn't, just made him feel like more. And more. Plus Jill was still blasting her frickin tv usptairs. He realized she'd probably fallen asleep with it on like she always did. Passed out on top of her covers with the tv blasting. She had it so much fuckin easier than him and she knew it. His life was so fucking unfair.
"I just know I'm going to get laid tonight" kyle told himself as he shut the tv off and started up the stairs.
As kyle's parents unlocked the door they thought it was the tv they heard at first, but then they realized it was jill screaming "KYLE, STOP IT!!!" and sobbing hysterically. They ran upstairs screaming "jill what's wrong" but found her room empty. When they got to kyle's room they saw jill at the entrance and kyle across the room with her precious kelly doll in his sweaty hands, fumbling to hide her and dress himself. "get out!" he screamed. they heard his sobbing long after they'd turned jill's tv off and gone to bed.
Chapter one
"I just know I'm gonna get laid tonight," kyle told himself as he started his car on the way to work. Tonight was the big party, at his girlfriend's house, and he was sure this would be his lucky night. After years of listening to his friends at work, his high school buddies (when he was still in school), and seemingly everyone he knew, brag about it, it was finally his turn.
Kyle had never had much luck with girls. He didn't feel comfortable talking to them and often felt like they were making fun of him. Even his sister, Jill. Especially his sister. She was only 12, half his age, but she was always laughing at things he said, teasing him because he couldn't read as well as she could. He'd hear her talking and giggling with her friends and sometimes he just knew they were talking about him. Plus she was always losing that stupid "american girl" doll she still played with. "have you seen kelly?" she'd ask him and their parents. Then she'd find her where she'd left her.
But today was his day. As he pulled in to work and saw his girlfriend's car there he felt like he could put all that crap behind him tonight and start fresh. As he walked in he saw her at the first register. She wasn't scanning anything so she smiled and waved him over. She leaned in and whispered "hey handsome, you ready for the party tonight?" kyle nodded and smiled. "you remember the stuff I want you to get?" he nodded again. It was more than usual today, party snacks and that sort of thing, but still easy for him to hide in his book bag without the manager seeing him. Sue was always so happy when he got stuff for her. She always had a big hug for him, sometimes a kiss on the cheek, and she'd call him "handsome" or "sweetie".
Fortunately the day flew by, since there was lots of shelf-stocking to be done and the parking lot was full of carts most of the day. Why people couldn't walk 20 feet themselves was beyond kyle but it sure kept him busy doing it for them. Before he knew it, it was time to go and he was in his car again, following the directions to sue's house from the flyer they'd all gotten.
When he pulled in front of her house, kyle was amazed how many cars were there. He rushed up, rang the doorbell and was greeted at the door by sue. "Hey stud, did you bring the stuff?" he smiled and handed her the bag. She kissed him on the cheek and ran into the kitchen with it.
Kyle always felt awkward when he got to a party and people were already there. He stood in the doorway for awhile and then started walking around, looking for people he could talk to. He saw a group of people he recognized sitting on the couch and started toward them. One of them looked his way and then looked away again. He went closer and coughed, hoping they'd notice he was there and invite him to sit with them. The one who'd looked before said "hey dude how you doing" but didn't wait for him to answer before talking to the others again.
He heard Sue talking in the kitchen so he went in to say hi. She said "hey Kyle are you having fun? A bunch of the guys are playing beer-pong downstairs, you should totally check it out". so he started downstairs. On the way down he saw lisa, a girl who was always nice to him but hadn't been working there long. Sue didn't like her and said she was a snitch so kyle kept his distance from her too.
Downstairs the beer-pong was in full swing so kyle asked if he could get in on it. They said "hey, totally dude. Next game okay?" so he found a seat. A few games went by but he figured they must be playing best of 5 so he waited patiently. Before long there was more beer on the carpet than the table so someone screamed for sue and she came down with paper towels. She handed them to some guy and he handed them to kyle and said "thanks man". while he was on the floor soaking up beer someone yelled "cleanup in aisle 7" and everyone burst out laughing. Kyle hit his head on the table sitting back up and everyone laughed even harder. He peeked his head up to see sue holding a guy's shoulder and burying her face in his chest, while covering her mouth to block the laughter. He said "hey sue, you wanna take a walk with me" and she said "sorry kyle, maybe after work one day". he started upstairs, peeked back down and saw her laughing again and shaking her head.
Kyle figured he'd check out the scene in the back yard. He found his boss out there with some of the older employees and figured he'd say hi. "hey kylie" his boss exclaimed. Kyle hated that he called him that but was glad to see a friendly smile. He said "I got all those shelves stocked that you asked me to" and sat down , happy to have found something to talk about and someone to talk with. "atta boy" said his boss, patted him on the head and said he was going to get another beer.
In the silence that followed "clean up in aisle 7" rung out from the basement, followed by another hearty laugh. Kyle pretended he was going to explore the back yard, found the side gate, and got in his car.
The drive home was one of those times when kyle just wanted to be rid of everything. As he drove he opened his windows, cranked his radio, shook his head and sung/screamed along to the music. But the thoughts came like they always did. The other parties where he felt just as alone, just as intrusive. The girls he asked to dance who just walked away or danced like they were being led to the gas chamber. The guy who pissed on the door of the stall he was in instead of waiting for him to be done. The year he played high school sports, the guys from the other school who were supposed to stay at his house for 3 days during the tournament , but disappeared after the first night. The exams that everyone else had finished and he sat alone, having barely started. Time after time when he felt like a hopeless loser, each getting piled atop one another, then shuffled and stacked anew with each new addition. "why the fuck do I even bother" he told himself.
As he pulled up to his house, kyle saw the lights still on inside. his parents met him at the door. He wasn't that late so he knew he wasn't in trouble. "hey champ" his dad said, "You're home early so we're going to catch the rest of the party at the Carlson's". "jill's watching tv in her room so help yourself to dinner and make sure you lock up before bed". "okay, have fun" kyle said and sat down in front of the tv.
He flipped through all those god-damn channels but couldn't find one decent thing to watch. Plus he could barely concentrate because his sister's tv was so loud in her room. He settled on some lame ass comedy and got himself a beer. He'd hoped it would make him feel better but it didn't, just made him feel like more. And more. Plus Jill was still blasting her frickin tv usptairs. He realized she'd probably fallen asleep with it on like she always did. Passed out on top of her covers with the tv blasting. She had it so much fuckin easier than him and she knew it. His life was so fucking unfair.
"I just know I'm going to get laid tonight" kyle told himself as he shut the tv off and started up the stairs.
As kyle's parents unlocked the door they thought it was the tv they heard at first, but then they realized it was jill screaming "KYLE, STOP IT!!!" and sobbing hysterically. They ran upstairs screaming "jill what's wrong" but found her room empty. When they got to kyle's room they saw jill at the entrance and kyle across the room with her precious kelly doll in his sweaty hands, fumbling to hide her and dress himself. "get out!" he screamed. they heard his sobbing long after they'd turned jill's tv off and gone to bed.
scott