here is a group that might help you


http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/sex-ed-101/discussions/messages/11099476

They are pretty good about answering questions.
Good Luck!!

my god, id fuck a snake and actually HAVE.. jeez, im at a loss for words here..

Ha! I think that's a good thing, huh? What he says was bad enough!

I know what it is 2 live like a nun,4 the past 15 yrs.His heath has taken away my sex life.We sleep in seperate beds,and rooms.I turned 2 the net 2 c what was out there,and found someone who was close and did not mind that I was married or that I could only get away so often 2 play.Now that I am sick and down no playtime 4 me until I am better.Sex with this playmate is slow fast however I want it,he thinks of me first and his needs last.

I am not a Doctor. I can only comment based on my humble opinion and experience.

I truly don't recommend finding a play mate. That could cause great deals of trouble physically and emotionally for both you and your spouse.

This issue is more common then spoken about. Many couples go through it.
I am going through it with my husband. I love him and he loves me and we have been married for 28 yrs.

You need to consider underlying issues that may cause the lack of ability to perform. Masturbating is not as physical as actually doing the deed with your spouse.

Having a king size bed sounds nice, however the distance between you two may be something to consider, In my humble opinion.

Age plays a very good role in this issue as well. I don't know your age or the age of your spouse however every man has a time in his life that will or has come that he will lose his Lobito. Many women have this happen as well. They need more stimulants to get things going.

Consider being more aggressive or role playing.
Watch the video and then reenact it with him.
Have more foreplay.
Don't be afraid to enhance your love life. Sometimes doing small things differently make a huge impact. Get dirty with girl!

In my situation he is having back problems and that plays a major in sex in many many ways. Chronic pain in limbs, stress over household budget or job can bring a libido way down.

Perhaps a nice massage with no intentions of wanting the favor returned

Just snuggle up to him in bed. See what happens.

Romance one another.

I hope you find what can help. Don't forget to love him continually. Sex is a small part of a good marriage. Love , friendship and understanding are the biggest and best.

I am also in a need for a support group for women in a sexless marriage. I found yours and by the recommendations was led here. But there isn't much help here. So let us support each other here. I am a woman who loves Christ. But as is normal, there are so many legalisms and judgments in the Christian community. We therefore fear speaking about things like masturbation. I finally looked up on the internet for solutions "if masturbation is ok". I am now at ease with it and found peace. But I am now thinking of getting my first vibrator. What are your comments on this?

Has your husband had is hormone levels tested? He many be low on testoterone which could lower his desire? Maybe a sex therapist might help if he is will.
Sex is an integeral part of a healthy marriage and should be seen so by both in the marriage. Being able to have open and frank discussions with each other about what your wants and needs are will help to open things up.

First off, why is it ok that he masturbates and you think you cant compete with a strong hand? That is absurd.

Being in a marriage, you should be able to be very open with your needs and wants. If you need more sex and need to feel sexy, maybe you should initiate sex. If not sex, have you thought of dressing in a sexy nightie and doing the deed with your hands and oil while he watches? Put a nice picture in his head and feeling on his body.

Learn to openly express your concerns about how often you sleep together and offer up suggestions on what to try to improve things. Possibly seek counseling?

This really bothers me because I know a man who was not pleased in his marriage, masturbated almost daily, and had affairs with women on the side. They eventually divorced because he just needed more. He did discuss this issue with his wife and she said she just didnt have the drive anymore. Didnt really enjoy sex. Unfortunately, they got a divorce.

Sex should be a part of a marriage. Not the number one thing, but still there even after many years together.

I really hope you work it out. Good luck

sorry, i just realize this was posted in 2011. Dont know that my advise will help at this point. lol.

I am in a sexless marriage. I have been in marriage for 22 years and last time my husband and I had sex is was over 7 years ago almost 8. We usually do it twice or trice a month. I am wondering why he's not asking for it or maybe he is just busy doing his work but gosh 7 years And I don't know if he noticed it or what I don't even know if he still notice me or think that I'm still around. He's working in his office for 6 days and 1 day in our house he is just so busy facing his laptop and touching his papers and his office desk. I don't even know if he's aware that he have a wife!. I really want the romance, cuddling time back in our marriage life. Next month, we will celebrate our 23rd year anniversary and I want a new kind of celebration, so I decided to take our sex life into the next level. I ask a friend of mine for some suggestion to give our anniversary a new taste. She told me to look for this store, it's called Adam and Eve or you can search them as adamandeve[dot]com they're offering adult toys and I thought the ff. toys will give the new taste that I'm looking for she even told me to use this code LUST20 at the checkout to get the discount. I ordered the Lust Unleashed it's a DVD and some of them are even 50% off + free Shipping + dvds and other goodies. I can't wait for it to arrive!. I hope this will help me to get my husband's romantic side back. Maybe after watching this he will love to be in our room with me rather than to be in his office with his laptop.

maybe this will give some of you a little hope. my husband and i hadn't as much as touched for over 2 years. After I had my daughter it was just gone, and i didn't notice or care. I told myself it didn't matter and wasn't important and that if he loved me he would learn to deal with it. I was wrong, I know he has tried, but it has caused every other part of our life to fall apart. we used to have so much fun doing everything together, now we almost never do anything together and when we do, its dull. like the color is gone and our life is in black and white now. I have started reading these blogs and am realizing the effect on a romantic relationship without those sexual energies and undertones. i finally decides to try something to rekindle things, but forcing myself to have sex was awkward and unsatisfying for both of us and just put a spotlight on the problem. I've never watched porn, but one of my girlfriends told me that her and her husband like to watch it together, so i looked around to see if there was anything that stirred the pudding. I'm not a lesbian, or bisexual, but i when i was thinking about sex and fantasizing i did get turned on by the idea of a threesome with another woman. long story short, i fount this site for "female friendly" (xnxx.com/forwomen) movies and found some that did it for me. i suggested that we watch them together and of course my husband was all about it. its been 3 weeks now, and things are going much better. we are having sex every couple of days and i have even started masturbating again on occasion. i guess i just needed a kick start to drag me away from my distractions and remember how much fun it could be

A woman in a sexless marriage? I honestly did not think it possible. I have the opposite problem. I used to try to talk about it, but only got stonewalled, or told I was addicted to sex and there should be more to marriage. Is once every 2-3 days really that much to ask? When we were young it was often 2-3 times a day. Often her idea. Now she turns me down and shuts me out for months at a time, won't talk about, won't go for counselling with me. It feels hugely disrespectful and kind of selfish because she still likes to cuddle. The resentment is building.

Of course you should initiate. It's probably deeper than that but it can't hurt to try.