WOMEN ONLY Community Group
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after many years of not wanting my husband to touch me i've been making an effort to have sex now. problem is i have a very hard time getting aroused no matter what we try. i know most ofit has to do with my meds, and now i can get aroused or have an orgasm and it's really frustrating. i don't know what else to do my doc says its the meds, but i really want to have sex and really enjoy it. it's been so long and i'm craving it. thank goodness i have a patient husband. any advice would be helpful. thanks.
That said, womens sex drive is higher in the evening. Testosterone levels raise for us as the sun sets and it is easier for females to be aroused. So make sure that your evening hours are stress free and you are "available" during that time frame.
After so many years not wanting sex, you have no doubt built up a pattern...a habit. So re-entering a sexual mindset will take time and work. It is great that your hubby is "patient". This will help with the transition.
Start slow. Try doing just cuddling for a few nights in a row. Add some stroking and kissing in as you become more relaxed. Just remember, it isn't going to "feel right" because you have been on an offensive side of sex for so long. You have to work at learning that "hey ya, I like this"....so while you may feel awkwards at times, just go with the flow. Try not to let your inhibitions control the situation.
Is there an adult store like Ambiance or Fredericks around that you can pick up a toy or two? If not, look online and have something sent. Some discreet games will help you to become reacquainted.
But most of all, the biggest factor in being comfortable with sex again is to date your husband. Think about how it was when you were first getting to know one another. The quiet times, the fun times, the talking....conversation is the most important aphrodisiac. Flirt a little!