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Sorry to bother you yet again

Elsiesue
Elsiesue
But could I ask for prayer for my Granddaughter. She so needs prayer! She stormed out of the house stating we hated her and we never listened to her and so forth and so on. We do not know where she is but have called the police and let them know she is out there and that her meds are still here.

She was mad because we found out that she had put her foot through the wall and made a huge hole and caught her with things she had to have permanently "borrowed " from others. So it is all our fault in her mind and once she has made up her mind to her it is fact. She is a very troubled young lady but I have come to the conclusion I cannot help her. We took her to therapist and psychiatrists. And Human Resources to get medical...I don't know how else to help her.

Think of me what you will but she is no longer welcome to live in my home. She may visit if she so choices but I cannot do this any more.. Dennis and I have fought because of her more in the last 3 Months than we have fought about anything in the last 35 years. I have cried more tears over her than all of my boys put together. I had to remove myself from my own home to help keep my sanity. I found a therapist so I could cope with this. Please forgive me but I cannot do this any more. I feel like a complete failure....And I am sorry.
Love you all,
Elsie
ClayC
ClayC
You are not a failure Elise sweetheart.. .. You have gone over and above an duty you have to this ungrateful girl.. Their are some that cannot be helped Elsie and do you know why, because they don't want to be helped.. they choose a path-of destructive behaviour and seek to be this way to cause maximum destruction to those around them. She is young, I don't mean to be harsh, but you have done everything and more in your power to help her and have been treated appallingly in the process. It is time for peace and tranquillity in your and Dennis life again.. You should not have had this terrible , stressful situation.. I was in a similar position myself.. I also had to seek a therapist to help me because of the stress.. He told me.. You can still help and be supportive without having to have this person in your home.. It's YOUR home he said to me, your refuge.. I moved my BIl out that day.. I provided him with lifts a meal every day , but he no longer lived with us, and it was the best thing I ever did..It took a while, but he is a changed boy...I will pray for Drew and I am always in prayers for you and Dennis Elsie... A failure no,.... a wonderful person who has done everything she can for a family member YES... Love you XXXXXXX
22Lynn
22Lynn
You shouldn't feel like a failure when you've done all you could for your granddaughter. Sometimes after doing everything in your power to make things work out we have to give it up to God to fix. Know that both you and your granddaughter will be in my prayers in the coming days.
Phoebesfriend
Phoebesfriend
I agree with everyone here, No way are you a failure Elsie ! Sending many prayers for both You and your granddaughter. Hang in there :-)
mitche499
mitche499
Elsie honey, we can only do so much to help others, we cannot cure the world. Bless your heart, for all the love, time and effort you have put into helping your granddaughter. Because of her attitude, ungratefulness and hurtful deeds.....chances are over.....it's time she takes responsibility for her actions.....she IS old enough. Her entire life will be worthless unless she learns some hard lessons to change her thinking.

You are not the failure & have done all you could to help this girl, honey!! Our Heavenly Father knows the goodness & graciousness of your heart, HE put you in her life when it was needed most, but it was up to her to except that love....she turned her back......it's time for peace in your life once again, especially between you & your hubby.

Good luck my friend, you are in my prayers.
Hugs
Jean xoxo
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry this has happened to you. A woman on another board for several years was having trouble with her daughter and the daughter would go into riot mode and be punching and hitting and the woman would have to lock herself in the bedroom. The husband was renovating their home and too busy to help the woman and just dumped it all into the woman's lap.

She was looking forward to her daughter reaching either 18 or 21 because there was a remedy at that point that they couldn't have until then.

You have done what you can and you have now set your boundary. You can't withstand her any more and kicking holes in walls means she could kick you and break a knee. I appreciate everything you have done for her and you're good people.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree wholeheartedly with what everybody wrote. You are NOT a failure and it is NOT your fault.

This might not be a good example, but when I read your post I thought of the principal at the last school I taught. He always said , "all students can learn and if they don't, it is the teacher's fault." While I agree "all children can learn," at times it is impossible to teach them anything until they want to learn. Sometimes you have to stop trying and let them know if they are ready and willing, you will start teaching again, but not until they are willing.

So again you are not a failure. Now it's up to your granddaughter to take the first step. Be assured you are all in my prayers.
Elsiesue
Elsiesue
Thank You, my Precious Friends, I have had a roller coaster day. On one level ( my head maybe) I know this is not my fault. On another I feel like a failure (my heart maybe). Most everyone has said the same things as you wonderful ladies. I love what my sister wrote on Face Book...."Sis, your are not at fault and we will all just have to keep telling you until you believe it." May haps I have to keep telling myself...Until I believe it.

She went to school today but slept in the desert. The school has her meds and were looking for a place for her to spend the night. I learned two things today. In CA apparently if we had of kicked her out of the house we could be forced to take her back. Then we would have to serve her with an eviction notice. Right now I am glad she chose to leave of her own volition. and 2....there is a agency Called APS (Adult Protective Services) that can step in and take care of her and see that she gets the help she. I think Dr. Parker, her psychiatrist, will help with that.

Again, Thank You, each and everyone....You loving words and prayers help more than I could ever express.

Consider each of you hugged.

Loves you,
Elsie
Group Founderbgoodwin44
bgoodwin44
Hi Elsie,

Bless Your Heart For All The Hard Work That You
Have Done To Help Your Granddaughter, Hopefully
In Time She Will Realize Just How Good You Have
Really Been To Her.

Elsie, Please Don't Be So Hard On Yourself, You
Have Done The Best You Can.

Love Ya, ~Barbara
Elsiesue
Elsiesue
Thanks, Barb, Love Ya
LindaJean
LindaJean
Oh goodness Elsie - you are not bothering us at all. I know how a difficult child can turn your life upside down and how helpless it can make you feel. What is going on here is not your fault.

You did your best to help her - and she is clearly not allowing you to do that. You didn't cause this and you can't cure it. Her issues started well before she came to live with you - and you did the best you could do.

I do hope that things smooth out. You are a kind and sweet lady - please know that.

LJ
Elsiesue
Elsiesue
Thanks, Linda. All of the kind words are so appreciated.
Loves ya
deleted_user
deleted_user
Elsie my heart breaks for you. I have a dear Aunt who went through the same thing you are going through now. Situations like this take a real toll on the whole family. I pray that your granddaughter can find some kind of peace and happiness. Wishing you well and wishing you enough... Jan
Elsiesue
Elsiesue
Thanks Jan
Rachel59
Rachel59
Sweet Elsie, I so agree with all the wonderful comments here to you. You are in NO way, not at all, not a smidgen, a failure. You tried with everything you had to make this work out.

You can not destroy yourself over this. You love her, that is obvious, but right now, she needs to decide deep in her heart that she wants to treat others well and until that happens, it will be hard. You should not have to run from your own home for peace.

I'm so proud of you for having the courage to not let this situation destroy you. It's hard, but sometimes we must listen to our hearts and make difficult decisions. I'll keep you all in my prayers and NO guilt...You did nothing wrong.
Hugs, Rach
Elsiesue
Elsiesue
Thank You Rachel, Your kind sweet word are so appreciated.
I just boxed up her clothes and stripped the bed. Between the sheets and the mattresses there must have been 20 candy wrappers...Most had to have been shop lifted because it isn't something we had in the house.......Wow, how wrong we were. I truly hope she finds help and someone lets us know where she is.
Thanks again Rachel...and everyone.
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