Hey,

I feel like I have been lying to you all on the Caring Bridge all though everything I have said has been the truth.

There are some things that have not yet made it to the Caring Bridge or Face Book . And I have to ask you to keep it quiet until you see it in either place. Dennis or I will post as soon as possible. So please be patient with us. PLEASE DON"T SAY ANYTHING ON FACEBOOK.

We have Dennis home yes, but it is not as rosy as it sounds. He is home on Hospice. I cannot give you a prognosis as no one will say. They do say that it is more or less up to him. The Chemo and the radiation was messing with the emphysema so badly that we had pneumonia twice in 5 weeks and started another bout while we were still in the hospital.

Tuesday, Dec 23, he told the Palliative Care Nurse that he was tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally and "he wanted to pick up his toys and go home"

She said she would be back in a bit to talk with him again that afternoon. Shortly after she left he changed his mind. His prerogative...He had questions....

1) was there enough of him left to survive cancer treatment??
2) How weak am I?
3) has the treatment caused more damage to my lungs?
4) Will I have the ability to regain the strength into get up and do again?

Answers

1) We don’t know. Depends on how much longer the treatment has to take.
2) The treatments effect the immune system and each bout of pneumonia makes you weaker.
3) Yes, it is doubtful that they will recoup.
4) We don’t know.

So we talked some more. He had more questions
5) How many more chemo treatments are there?
6) We have approx. 23 radiation treatments left....will it be extended past the 7 weeks...?
7) Is it possible it could be less.?

I CANNOT SPEND THE NEXT 3 WEEKS GOING THROUGH RADIATION PLUS ONE OR TWO MORE CHEMOS!
I told him the last was a statement not question. He said the statement stood!
I asked him if he wanted me to call the Palliative Care Team or if he want to wait until the next day to talk with them. He said he wanted to talk to Dr. Krishna. So when Dr. came in that night. Dennis told him he wasn't playing any more. Dr. was the most gentle, compassionate person I have ever seen. He held Dennis’s hand in his hands and told him he understood. He was sorry but he understood. And that He would always take care of Dennis and He would take care of me. After he was through talking to Dennis he put his arms around me and let me cry on his nice suit and told me how sorry he was and that he would always be there for me.

He started the paper work... I was home by 4:30 PM and Dennis around 7:30 PM on Christmas eve. he came home by Ambulance. And the Hospice intake was Friday afternoon.

We are keeping this off the Facebook, Caring Bride until all family members and very close friends are notified.

Sorry this is so long!

I Love you and thank you for all of your support, love and continued prayers