Yes ... and no.
My husband Martin had a strong, quiet, steady faith. He was a great example to me.
My relationship with God has been more flighty, childish sometimes. I have been blessed to have a strong, underlying belief for most of my life even when I wasn't being particularly faithful.
Strangely, M's death didn't cause me to question my faith but I didn't really call on God for support either.
I have found several Christian websites and authors more helpful than my local church but I'm not really "back" yet. It's been almost ten months.

In the early part of my grief I was so angry/hurt at God. This went on for many many months. Then the time came where I told myself I had to get off the fence. I eithier turn my back on God or surrender my life to him. The day I decided to surrender and trust him was the begginng of my journey back to the living(yes my spirit died when my wife did). There are still tough days but I know he walk and yes sometimes carries me.

I could never really tie the two together...my faith and my grief until I started focusing on my faith....I have a long road ahead but it is filled with much more hope and faith than fear and doubt....for me it started with the 30 day challenge on a Christian radio station called K-Love...daily I am reminded that I am not alone and that in its self brings me much needed comfort

My Faith gas been very strong over the last 14 years.
In retrospect, I don't know how I would have coped for the last 6 years, if I didn't have Faith in a Jesus. Before that, I was what I would call Out in The Wilderness. Then, my son, Jeff, accepted The Lord in 2004,
I got decided to get Baptised and became a member of a Church.
I Started Bible Study, praying much more,
Reading my Bible regularly, reading devotionals. That little mustard seed that was planted years ago, began to grow.
During that time my son and daughter began to go to church regularly. My daughter also accepted The Lord
In 2005. Then my precious husband accepted The Lord on October 19th..2007.........WOW!!!
That was an Amazing time. !!
We had been praying for my husband, Ben to be Saved and The Lord answered our prayers.
In retrospect, I believe The Lord had a plan. Ben never stopped giving Glory to Jesus, even during his 2 and a half year battle with cancer and a transplant. It was Ben's Faith in His Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, that
Made my faith solid as A Rock.
I Have to mention something which confirms the fact that Our God has a plan......I was never brought up in any religion...My mother was Church of England, my father was Catholic, my grandfather was Muslim...then from the age of 9 till 11 years old, I went to a Jewish School...apparently for a better education.
BUT ....In 1973, I married my Ben, Who was Jewish!!!!.....Looking back, it's like a tapestry that has been woven,
"Let everything That Hath Breath Praise The Lord". Psalm 150: 6
I hope that hasn't been too long winded, if it has, I apologies.....
All my love.......Sandra

It's been only 6 weeks since Tom passed, and I am on and off on a daily basis. when he passed, I was angry at God...I had been praying and praying for Tom to recover, for a miracle..for just one more year, at the very least. When he died, I felt like God had let us down somehow...like he hadn't been listening. 'How could a loving God leave my son and I alone without him' I kept asking myself...I am starting to accept the fact that God's ways are not our ways, and because of that, we don't necessarily understand why things happen. I'm starting to make my way back to my faith, but it has been shaken...I still go through angry phases, but they are fewer and more far between...

I need help in that area. I am a believer but even at 44 I consider myself a baby believer. I was growing in my faith even before Derick died but his death has thrown me into a really crazy place. Since his death I have felt like I'm being punished by God for not being a good person. I find myself listening to Joel Osteen constantly in my car and I have made it a habit of reading my bible daily. But I have a long way to go.

I also felt like I was being 'punished' for not being a better Christian and a better person. When I met my husband, I was 23 and he was 38. I had fallen away from the church, and he brought me back. He wasn't perfect either, but his faith was always strong, no matter what was going on in our lives. He always told me to read the whole Bible from cover to cover, in the same way as reading any book. When he passed, I was so angry, confused, lost...still am some days. When I feel that way, I try to remember to recite the Serenity Prayer in my mind to help put things into perspective.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Thanks to all who responded. These days I am taking care of my MIL (alzheimers, bedbound) in my living room for 3 years now....................and my mom just moved in with me too - as she is too frail to live alone.

Two 90 yr old ladies and me. Both ladies are needy and a lot of work. I also work a 50 hr/wk job from my basement - (our business is right outside the house so that is a big help as I see other people etc).

But I can't help but wondering.........."How in the world did I end up with these two ladies instead of my wonderful Bill." I am HOMESICK for my life with Bill.

Then again I am not in charge. Our Lord is.
I am somberly reminded that life is not about being happy all the time. I am extremely grateful for the wonderful life we had. Now I will walk these ladies slowly home because it's God's plan for me to do it.

Did I say slowly? Old folks move sooooooooooo slow. Learning patience in this process arrrgh :)

I was angry, prayers? more like conversations for me. But gradually now at 3y 4 months almost) as I count the ways that I am moving forward (because there is no going around) my conversations are also changed. Simple thank you's through out the day and requests for strength and friends to help carry me over the still rough spots of some things. I have had a lot of helps when I wanted to give up, I thank the Creator for that now too.

I remember to look at the things around me in nature that shows his handiwork to me as reminders. The simple "Beauty" of the little things that were also gifts.

icezam, if you haven't yet look into respite care, and then take it , what ever you are allowed.
Hugs Jewells

what a conundrum ! taking care of my mom too tho she does not live w/me

clinging to His word but have turned into a beast @ times ... wise words help :)

http://www.wordonfire.org/resources/homily/the-undoing-of-original-sin/4926/

God hold us !