I am truly sorry today is such a challenging day. Grief is truly a emotional roller coaster.. The good news is over time those days with get further apart. I found what often worked the best on those days is acknowledge the pain, cry as much as you need to(tears are truly healing), cling to your faith and vent here as often as you feel the need to. For today I want to send you my prayers, a Big Canadian hug and a welcome to the group here. God bless. Gerry

It's good that you acknowledge your "human-ness". Even though we have faith, it does not make us any less human nor does it give us super human strength. It does give us a reason to go on and hope. Even at almost 18 months after losing my husband I will occasionally still have a very bad day. I realized that it's better to give in to the emotions and ride it out than try to avoid it, which I did in the beginning because the pain was just too overwhelming. Praying helps and we know that is how we go on, the strength is not of our own making, it is HIM that carries us through this journey.

It has been 4 years for me & I still experience days that get me down...
I believe our Lord will never leave or forsake me but I am finite, He is infinite
We face struggles, challenges while we walk this earth...
But we are blessed to know He is faithful.
Take the time You need, we each grieve in our own way & in our own TIME
Ps. 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
jdp

There is one thing I did not share in my original post because I was too embarrassed to admit it, but I have a lot of anxiety which seems to get the better of me. It is with me daily. So with grief, depression, and anxiety It is an uphill battle. Have been talking with a therapist which is helpful. Does anyone else experience this anxiety? Is this part of the healing process?

I too had a lot a of anxieties especially during the first few months. I am already at the 7th month and I think getting a job helped lot by keeping my brain busy. But I still do have "bad" days once in a while where I break down and cry or I get angry at the world. Or times when my heart beats so fast when I wake up and reality sets in... maybe this is all part of the process... Hang in there Kann.. This too shall pass.

That is for me the hardest times. Dealing with anxiety. I know God tells us to be anxious for nothing. Sometimes it gets the better of us. I haven't teared up in awhile. today I was coming home and heard a song on the radio. I for some reason started thinking if Linda was here wouldn't it be fun if we could be home dancing to this song. And all of a sudden, couldn't see the road for the tears. Had to get myself under control or wreak. It still hits out of the blue.
Peace, Tim

I do have pains and racing heartbeat and rushing thoughts at times...I had anxiety attacks in my 20s and they aren't nearly as painful as they were then but scary I did get myself physically checked out and they gave me 10 Xanex but I am trying to save them for days I have to work or think and can't control crying. Its still early and the funeral was last week. So we shall see..I have been back to work for 2 half days and felt pretty good those times. Jay's death was so long and he was asleep for most of it and I was so devastated by watching him hang in the balance that having an outcome was almost a relief. For now I am trying to get all the sad chores out of the way...like today I took the last of his belongings to the thrift store. I pray and talk to my sisters in Christ and now I got here as well:)

I am so sorry that we all have to face this storm. We all know that God is with us but we still face these challenges. I highly recommend Griefshare study. I am almost through my 13 week session and it has been amazingly helpful to deal with all my emotions from the loss of my husband.
I also suffer from anxiety it just comes along with this. We will strive to lean on God instead of our own feelings and we will get through this.
I use Young living essential oils and they help with calming , anxiety, etc... There is an oil for everything.