Have you got any one on one counseling?...It's one year today for me ...it's hard for all of us..Sometimes I want to be around joyful people...because I need cheered up...Maybe thats why some of the people haven't been on here...Because I don't want to dwell in my sorrow today...I decided to volunteer somewhere....I hope you can find comfort....When I feel anxious I remind me that death isn't the end of the story...Thanking the Lord....Hugs

At my church we recently did a bible study on Heaven by Randy Alcorn after our GriefShare session. It really helped with my grief. Taking the class was like reading a tour book of my final destination. Can't wait to go there. You are in my prayers.

to shewearsblack17, I have heard very wise Bible teachers always say: Whenever a question begins with "Why" and addresses "God"?, never try to answer that. Just reply with "I don't know." Because only God, Himself, knows. We do not know His answers to "WHY?" during our time on this earth. We will greatly err in attempts to answer such questions. It is better to leave the answers with Him, than it is to answer wrongly. Or to assume incorrectly.
Yes, our hearts are left with questions here. Each of us have our own.
I think it is less painful to have some unanswered questions, than it is to hear (or believe) so many incorrect answers from humans.
Just as we have many tears which are not yet wiped away. But one day He will wipe them away.

I did not mean that in a derogatory way, but yes I agree that no one has the answers, especially when the Bible seems to contradict itself on some things. I know it doesn't, but man can definitely put different spins on it. Maybe it will help to read my late husband's books on hermaneutics. I understand most things, but not everything.

shewearsblack, I understood where you are coming from.
I am hesitant to say this (& I can not engage in lengthy discussion), but there are a lot of incorrect spins on faith & healing in churches now. That always leaves people with great pain from contradictions of when people are not healed.
If God wills to heal someone on earth, no mans shortcoming of faith will prevent Him. Just as His plan of salvation was entirely His working, and for His glory. He will not share His glory with another.
The problem of over-emphasizing humans' faith is that it gets our attention off God and onto people. That leaves people behind with a destructive kind of sorrow & pain... it is never His will to destroy our utter dependence upon Him. and our utter faith IN HIM. (not us). So doctrine which hinges on man for miracles has an inherently wrong spin.
I know He will bring each of us His own comfort, in His own time. Many things here are hard to understand. but we still wait in faith. Even in deep pain.
Scripture said (long before Jesus was born) "He was a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief". He knows us, in our grief. So often, other people do not know us at all. but He does.

Shewearsblack17. Not on here much because I've a load of "duties" which I had neglected the past four months. Also, sometimes I need to step away in order to step up in this so-called journey.

I can relate to what you wrote. AfterMom has replied to you with what I believe, too.

Hugs...

I would encourage you to continue to post. I found venting in a safe environment helpful. Sometimes the number of responses has nothing to do with what we post but life getting in the way for others. I have been here far less as I am in the process of selling my house and moving across the country(another turn in the rebuilding process). For others its jobs, responsibilities or tough days that keep them away for awhile. Grief is difficult to measure the progress of because it involves so many steps back and forward. A grief counselor once told me we are always moving forward whether we realize it or not because each step involves internalizing and coming to peace with the loss. Tough days indicate issues we still need to work on as part of the internalizing process. Truthfully for me it took 2 years to start to feel engaged again. Some can do it much faster and others it takes longer. The time frame for grief is unique to each individual. Truly wishing you only the very best.

It seems like the last week or so I have been totally focused on my kids' marital problems. And trying to tentatively plan my vacation. I have booked a flight, and I have booked transportation to the airport. I feel almost too tired to go, and it scares me to fly alone - to fly, period. Next week I plan to price things for some upcoming garage sales. I don't have a clue where my stickers are, so I will re-buy some. That's if I can get to Walmart LOL. I suppose I have had a few days where I have regressed in grieving, meaning that I have probably taken more steps backward than forward. When you feel overwhelmed, it becomes difficult to prioritize. What really is most important of all the things you need to do? I wonder if i need to lower my expectations a bit. I need something (or someone) to motivate me. I'm stuck in a rut. I was reading in one of my widow books, and the author was saying we need to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. Well, I don't agree; I think we need plenty of rest, and the amount may vary, depending on our level of stress, etc. We don't have to eat the whole elephant in one day, as the saying goes. I try to do the basics, but if I go beyond that, I try to reward myself as well. Tomorrow is a new day, the Lord's Day, so we will see what is in store. I just hate getting up early. I am trying to hold my own.

Thank you to Gerald for posting this quote--> "Grief is difficult to measure the progress of because it involves so many steps back and forward. (A grief counselor once told me) We are always moving forward whether we realize it or not because each step involves internalizing and coming to peace with the loss....."
That last sentence really jumped out as being very profound. I am going to write it down for contemplation & encouragement.! It occurs to me, further, how great & deep of a spiritual battle this walk through spousal loss really is. And I need to hang onto the truth which Gerry shared here.
I will try to find a scripture which matches that principal, for my journey.
I'm so grateful... have really been needing encouragement.!
Barb.

It IS a spiritual battle being widowed. I have gone through a lot of things, but this has been the worst of the worst.

shewearsblack, Same Here. !

Barb I want to thank you for your kind words today. I had a overwhelming day planning my move across the country and then I saw your words which I found so uplifting. I 100% agree with both you and shewearsblack grief is a spiritual battle. Awhile back I posted about how I felt like I was dancing with the devil at some points during my darkest hours of grief. It challenges your faith, your willingness not only to surrender to Gods will but trust that he will ultimately love you and walk with you. I promise you both he is walking with you and carrying you at some of the most difficult times even if you dont realize it. Looking back now I can see those times, Wishing both all of Gods peace. Gerry