WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS OF FAITH Community Group

A place where people of faith may freely discuss issues of grief from a faith based perspective.

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Lisalou01 07/17/2018

Well I am new to this but I feel I have no one who understands me they just feel sorry for me so I put a smile on and pretend I am ok and good but I am tore apart I feel so broken my husband of 7 years passed away 12/01/2017 it was a cold night I was at Wal-Mart on my way to decorate for a woman lunch at our church after I left Wal-Mart I was suppose to drop my 3 yr old daughter off with him well I got a call from his brother as I was checking out I felt my heart drop when he said there was a bad car accident I didn't know what to do I prayed the whole way to the accident I knew in my heart he was gone when I pulled up there was a sheet on the car and all the family on the side of the road I lost the love of my life and I went into strong mode for my kids I had a hard time with one of his sisters and God ended up giving me all my heart desires and we got to bury him the was we wanted so I felt I had to fight for myself and my kids rights then put this strong look for myself because I knew my mom my family my kids all where worried now these months later I am falling apart I still cry every day when I am alone I watch my 3yr old do things and I cry because I never thought he wouldn't be here with us to help raise her she starts school soon and how will I do this alone with out him I sit here and think what went wrong and why is he not here I blame my self I think of dumb fights I don't know if all this emotions r normal or if I am flossing my mind

Kimberlina 07/17/2018

Hi Lisa, You have found a good place to talk and get a perspective of how others are doing. Yes true no one understands unless they have been though it. I can honestly tell you I do not know what normal is anymore or if there is such a thing. My husband and I used to say that normal was a setting on the washing machine, My husband passed away 2/4/17 and I still cry. As a matter of fact last night I cried myself to sleep asking God is this normal.
Take care and hugs to you. -Kim

Lisalou01 07/17/2018

Aww yes i know and thank u for leaving a comment feels good to hear from someone who can relate

regwin 07/18/2018

My thoughts are with you for strength and peace. Take care. We care. Love and Hugs, Dolores

gerald222 07/20/2018

Dear Lisa what you are experiencing is definitely normal as far as the grief process goes. Grief is a emotional rollercoaster and tears flowing are a essential part of the healing process. I am truly sorry for your loss. Replaying silly arguments I also replayed in my head, and truthfuly when I see other couples do it now I wish I could share with them my experiences. Silly arguments are us being human and living together as a couple. Because of the love we shared the grief hurts so very very much. There were periods where I also had to be 'strong' but eventually somewhere, sometime the grief needs to be expressed in order for it to be internalized. I am so glad you found us. I would encourage you to post as often as you are comfortable. Just wanting to send you a big hug and tell you we are here to walk the journey with you. God bless. Gerry

avm99 08/09/2018

Lisa, I lost my husband to cancer 6 years ago. At the time my kids were 9, 4 and 2. At the early stages I felt I had to be strong and carry on for my kids. At 8 months I had a meltdown because the reality hit me that I’m now a solo parent raising kids on my own when i didn’t sign up for it. It’s important to take time out for yourself and take good care of yourself.

Hugs
Antonella

Norske1 10/20/2018

Gerry's words are so true. It will be 4 years on Nov. 9 since I lost my husband. I also had the guilts about little quarrels we had, but we are only human, like Gerry says. I can truthfully say that God has been with me every step of the way through this and as I was reminded, when sitting in your car the widow ahead of you is large, while the review mirror is small. That helped me look forward.

I started a widow/widower group through my church and have made so many new friends who understand this kind of grief.

I also finding myself telling friends, when they complain about their spouse, that they need to get past the pettiness and just appreciate the fact that he is alive.

Linda

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