dear friends, please pray for me to identify some connections for in-person companionship to walk with, through adjustments. I don't know what to do. In no way do I desire male companionship (not ready. may never be). The lady friends I have live too far away to do anything with in-person. It's phone calls with them. Any local friends are married and totally unavailable.
It is very hard to have lost the one & only person with whom I belonged. *That is the One Thing which actually gets worse as more time passes. because time has accumulated and social subtractions become more detrimental. Now I look back and see that "I've been alone for over 4 years now".* It is Not Good. At All. Even God said, after creation (before sin ever affected Adam & the world!) "It is Not good for man to be alone". God said this after declaring of all other aspects of creation "It is good!".
Things like attending church are not enough. because my husband was a leader, and was replaced, church friends completely changed their relationships with me. After 30 years. It is extremely painful that being widowed cost me so much more "belonging", than just my husband. It is so disorienting.
I also need someone to help me work through some tasks at home. My mind seems to have deteriorated since husband died. I need professional counseling but can't afford it. In fact, my basic financial survival is unsettled and my home is at-risk. I have to form new capabilities for rallying into action. depression and anxiety reduces my level of function. Non-widowed Christians don't understand that I can absolutely be confident in The Lord, and at the same time feel so much fear & dread about mySELF, my deficits etc., which are So Much worse to face without my husband.
The Lord carried me through horrifying injury & illess (+ isloation as a direct result of the illness: medically suspended drivers license for over 9 months) during the first 2 years. and, for some reason I actually thought that everything after my surgery would be "a breeze"! (after a rare tumor had affected my BRAIN) Well, guess what? I am still not equipped for this terrible Journey!
Truly, losing my husband has gutted my sense of Belonging in this world. I was just 18 when we met, & will turn 65 in January.
Thank you for any prayers., Barb.
Why does God take the good and leaves behind the bad I don't understand my husband died and the last 5 years where the worst for him he got a call from his younger brother March 2014 and found out that is sister who was a nurse and never got married and never left home had a stroke and was in a nursing home comatose and I had to call every nursing home in okc to find out where she was and that...
Week # 3 SUBJECT: “Disconnect to Connect”Scripture Reading: Romans 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2 NAS) This came to me as I was meditating on this bible study. God want to connect with us...