WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS OF FAITH Community Group
A place where people of faith may freely discuss issues of grief from a faith based perspective.
Wanted to stop in and say hey to everyone. Haven't been on in a long time. I do need to say this first. I truly don't feel I would have made it thru to this point without the help of all of you who were here back then. For that I will always be grateful. I hope God blesses each and everyone of you in ways only He can.
I never thought I would have come this far. I want lie. It is still hard at times. Especially when situations bring up triggers out of the blue. I have noticed though. They don't run my life as once did. I will always honor and love Linda. But I can't let grief become a way of life. God doesn't want that for any of us. I have focused so much on His word concerning circumstances. He tells us we will never be allowed to be under anything that is too much for us. And He will never leave us or forsake us. I am proof of that just by being here today. Its all His doing.
So this August will be 4 years since Linda went back home to her spiritual life. Her suffering and pain has been absent from her all this time. For that I am so grateful to God. At this point I am actually at a point emotionally I am ready to love someone once again. God doesn't limit our ability to give to others and certainly not the amount of love He fills our hearts with. So here I am ready to hopefully find happiness again. And to share the remainder of this life journey with. I just never thought I would ever be to this point. To this I owe all you great friends of mine I never met but feel a connection with and the mercy and grace of God.
If anyone new on the path reads this post. Please believe. If you have faith live in it. But it isn't a race. Take the time you need to heal. Don't let anyone tell you its time to get over it. You never will. But you will find ways to live with it. And know that this is never the end. Your loved one has started a new beginning that we all will when called. And whatever you do.
DO NOT GIVE UP THE FIGHT!!!!!
Peace Tim
J.
We all reach different stages of healing at different times but the key is to open our hearts to the healing. During the pain and depression in the early stages of grief we need to let God carry part of the load for us.
Tim your trust in God was very clear to me right from the beginning. I want to give you a big Canadian hug my brother. Please update us once in awhile. Others in the early stages are still deep in the dark cave of grief and need to know there is a light at the end.
I hope you find everything your looking for as you move forward.
Marylou has very strong Native American ancestry. Even though she is a believer in Jesus, she also embraces the Native beliefs. (I never speak of Marylou in the past tense, never will).
One of those core beliefs, that she taught me for 31 years, is that there is no such thing as "death." The Natives believe that what we call "death" is just a part of life, our eternal Spiritual Journey...and that we indeed go to a reunion with the ancestors.
In the early months after "12", I fought hard to embrace that belief...at a time when I needed it the most, but it was hardest to do.
Of course, I did what any Christian would do, give it to The Lord, because "it's just too big for me."
The Lord, in His Divine Grace, led me to a book written by Patrick Mathews. I forget the name of the book, but I recommend Mathews to all members of this club that none of us want to belong to.
In that book, Mathews says that when we are grieving the "loss" of a spouse, we start out by believing that they did not "die", but that they are very much alive, and with us in Spirit. And, that eventually that belief evolves into a state of "knowing."
Mathews is exactly right. Two weeks ago, the fourth anniversary if "12", Marylou's Spirit Birthday, came and went. But I found that it was not the devastating laying-on-the-ground-crying event it was in the past. Because I found that The Lord had answered my prayers, and allowed me to reach that state of "knowing", that Marylou is very much alive and with me...and when it's my turn, we will be together again.
Tim, I want to encourage you to share your life with someone new, as I have. I fought it for two years, feeling that I was violating the marriage promise I made to Marylou. But over time, I have found that I am able to love and share a life with this wonderful lady (who is herself a widow), without violating my marriage to Marylou. In fact, I do this with Marylou's blessings.
Roles reversed, I wouldn't want to be a Spirit spending eternity in the presence of Christ, demanding Marylou spend the rest of her life in the hell of loneliness. That's not in me, and it's not in you, either.
Go forward, and find love and happiness. Know that you have Linda's blessing.
There are alot of gold-diggers out there who want to prey on your grief. But don't worry about them. Our Lord will protect you from all that.
There is someone out there who is right for you. Believe it and know it.
I have found that you don't have to look for it. It'll find you.
Just give it to The Lord. And ride easy.
And am praying for you two to continue growing as a couple getting stronger.
Peace. Tim
Like you, I've not been on here in quite some time. Going through my email and saw an email from DS. Haven't seen one in ages. Good to hear from you, and glad you are doing better. Hope you have a great life!
Your friend, Joely
It is so good to see you back. I have been widowed since 2011. I thought that I wouldn't survive. I am blessed with 4 supportive kids and friends that support my journey. I am aware that my faith has been my anchor on blackdays.
Marg
Bless you all and thank you for sharing. X