Hugs Mel.
J.

Mel, I came across this saying once when preparing when preparing a sermon about the power of forgiveness: "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison to hurt somebody else". It applies to our refusal to forgive others, ourselves and yes, even God. You now have something special that many can go their entire lives without getting. ~ Scott

I have been looking for a widow/widowers "faith" group and am glad I found this. I thought I would be angry with God when he didn't answer my prayer to take away the cancer from my husband. I posted on facebook my faith that God would heal Al, and when he didn't, some of my friends, who are not Christian, were watching to see what I would post.

My anger was at myself and thinking I must be a terrible person for God to punish me by taking Al. Al was not ready to die at age 65.

It has been 14 months and I feel God and Al have been with me every day. I start my days before I get out of bed asking God whose life I can touch today. I have been given so much. I was able to be a friend to someone suffering from ALS and who later passed, teaching the children while their parents are in Celebrate Recovery, befriending many in my church, and God wraps me in his loving arms every day.

Do I miss Al? Absolutely. But God reminds me to remember that I had 37 years with an amazing man that HE put in my life and for that I am grateful.

YES MEL! An absolutely inspiring post ......my husband's saying was God us Good All of the time....we just
Don't realize it sometimes.
Love and hugs and GREAT!!! News no student Loans hanging over your.....Mel I think You...are being blessed!!
From Sandra

Mel I was told worry and fear are not of god. Remember, its gods will not yours, and it's in his perfect timing, not ours. I am the same way, but have found, since putting worry and fear away, things happen, the way they are suppose to happen. I always tell people, things, they happen for a reason, we may not know why, understand or like it, but it happens regardless. Sometimes, giving that control to god, takes the hurt out of the equation. Also, god hears all your wishes, and he knows whats in your heart, but it has to be pure, for the good of his word and glory. My surrogate mom said, one day, if one door closes another one opens, but you cant keep banging on that closed door, it wont open. Also, its not always in our comfort, but in our growth, god seeks for us. Then we can have pain, or pain can have us. Faith, means believing in the unbelieable, sight un seen. You can be angry at god, he is patient, and will wait for you to realize it was not his doing.... Its all about choices, ours and others. Don't doubt your kindness, and good deeds. You will be blessed, just sometimes letting go, allows for us to see the role we play in things ,rather it is good or negative. much love and super big hugs, carla

Mel: Thank you for sharing your story. The anger and hurt at God I think is a common reaction(i definitely had it). The rebuilding of your relationship with God is truly powerful. I am so happy for you as you continue the journey. Gerry

Carla - thank you for your post. I read and re-read you inspiring words.

An example in my life about worry not being from God - when Al passed I rushed to put our home up for sale, thinking I needed to escape the pain of where I lost him and where we were living our retirement dream for only 2 years. But when I started receiving offers, I panicked and was anxious and praying to God for what to do.

When my minister told me on Sunday morning that he didn't know why but God laid on his heart to pray for me, I knew God didn't want me to move yet. I took the house off the market.

It has now been a year of growth and healing and God has lead me to a place that I now feel comfortable in selling the house. (it is a lake home too much for me to maintain) My children live about 80 miles from me and I want to be closer to them. I also feel drawn to move back and reach out to some widow friends who need a friend to help them see life still needs to be lived for us.

Please keep me in your prayers as I make the move. Linda

Every time I wonder if this is the right move now, my heart becomes calm, and I don't worry. I know God will

Dear Linda, You are perfect just the way you are. god made you in his perfect image, remember? we will all make mistakes, and our choices determine the life we have and life. Im so happy you are following your heart. I too am doing the same thing, getting ready to list my home, on alot of acreage, and can't keep up with it. I think your doing all the right things, and god will carry you. I'm very proud of you, for being so smart, and also putting your faith in god. I didn't do anything but let you all know what an inspiration and encouaging group of lovely friends you all are. Love and hugs, carla