I had a pretty full day and didn't get a lot of rest last night, so once in a great while I just shut everything down tight (batten down the hatches) and call it a night!  I used to do this when I lived alone in the late 80's and early 90's.  Hopefully I will sleep better tonight.  If I dream, they are usually bad, so I try not to.  

Sometimes it is good to pause and think; "regroup" is the word I normally use.  The orchestra director flicked his baton a little over a year ago, and the music stopped for me.  So here I am in this position of having my life put on hold, but I am also waiting and watching for him to flick the baton once again.  Listening for that crescendo.  It may be a cowbell, but I guess that would be a start.  

I don't know if this is just how it is for me, but going into the second year anniversary, it seems that everything is in slow motion now.  Maybe I have learned that I can't rush this thing called grief.  I am forced to go through it.  Selah...