That is a lot to deal with. Just take it one stop at a time. Sending out a prayer for you. (((Hugs)))

Thanks! When it all boils down, it will be "up to me" to get it done. Just like I had to move myself the last time. I had a little help but not much. My pastor told me to "stand still and see the salvation of the Lord." I hope that means deliverance. Or maybe it is too soon to know which way to jump. The standing still part I can relate to. There was a post on the other board about having to get past the trauma before one can get past the grief. That is where I believe I am stuck! To me, what I went through was worse than I can imagine war to be. I could be wrong, but usually those on the battlefield are killed instantly. I watched a very slow and painful death. How does a person forget something that traumatic. I have been to Hell and back.

I'm sorry for all you have endured and sorry to hear all you have going on. . You might try for rental assistance or look into senior housing which goes according to your income. It's worth a try. You may qualify for more help than you realize. I hope so. Brighter days are ahead. Hugs, Dolores

I suppose I have to trust God and whatever His timing is on this. But I do want to go "home" and visit next summer. Tomorrow the kids will know the gender of the new baby on the way. I miss all my grand kids, although there are some I am not allowed to have contact with (because of my son's divorce and all). I am not sure I could even negotiate a major move at this point. I am tired.

Have you thought of getting a roommate to get you through this rough patch? Is there any relative that could be a roommate with you? Have you thought about answering any roommate requests in your area to temporarily get you thru this rough time? I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't forget to ask the Lord for help to get you through this. He may have a different answer that you haven't thought of yet. He has come through for me at such good timing in the past but to date, I'm going thru a traumatic thing so I don't know what his timing will be this time.

I don't have room for a roommate. I moved from a 4 BR, 2 car garage house into a duplex. My landlords made it very clear I could not sublease. My oldest son would move back in in a heartbeat, but he tends to be problematic. We clash, and he doesn't help much. Yes, the Lord is helping me. Last night I felt Him so strongly at church! A male friend would be nice about now, since I am not ready for something as serious as jumping the broom. I guess it is all in timing. This mystery man may have to find me. Idk. Perhaps he is working on his end of things at the same time I am.

And if I run out of money, I guess I can assume that it wasn't God's will for me to move.

If you believe in the idea that your spouse is in the good hands of the lord, then wait on the headstone. You can always revisit it later. I want to believe that your spouse would not want this material thing to be what wipes you out. The stone is not really needed where he is. It also will not keep you housed. If he was a veteran look into a plaque for now.

Then do think about a move within your working finances. I do believe that God watches us but he is not going to save us without our own involvement...it's why we are individual with free will. God is not waiting in the stone either. Pray for healing, strength and inspiration.

Hugs and support J.

I understand what you are saying, jewells1, but I have the headstone so near to completion. And since I had some of it personalized, there were hidden costs . The monument company has an artist on site. What I could do is go down to the smaller size stone, - if they will let me. But again, there would only be about a $300 dif. Because I did a direct burial with not even a viewing (later had a Celebration of Life), I feel like I should do this to honor his life. I am currently dealing with a crisis situation with my kids, so I may be forced to move back next summer. I am doing everything I know to do right now. For me, getting the headstone erected represents closure, if I can use that word and not be misunderstood.

Do what you feel you need to. Closure comes in many forms, and in many ways during grief, I still bump up against it five years out.
Hugs and strength.
J.