WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS OF FAITH Community Group
A place where people of faith may freely discuss issues of grief from a faith based perspective.
My daughter and I were VERY close, then after she married, her husband decided to completely cut me out of their lives....no phone call, mail, not even on birthdays, mothers days, christmas, etc. For nearly 6 years. She is so sweet and gentle. No explanation. I couldn't even grasp this at first. I suffered so badly! Each year the week up to mothers day and birthdays were spent in deep grief and pain. Only with God's help did I survive. Then, she and my granddaughter simply came back into my life when my mother and I were mercy flighted to her hometown in January . Her second time visiting was when I got the coroner's phone call about Marks death....that was January 25th. So, here it is May. I brought gifts to my granddaughter a month or so back. They say they will come to the coast this summer to visit, etc. I've developed a growing fear, that this could happen again! . When mothers day approached and I realized I was being sent a card I really fell apart. It came on Friday. I couldn't open it for 6 hours! The grief I endured! Are they going to pull the rug out again!. I've grieved so deeply for her, and now I keep having severe anxiety wanting to warn them to stop! Don't come back into my life! Surely there's another reason I wont be good enough for so just stop now! I finally got a councelor AND had to see my doctor. On top of this I had to go beyond telling my family that I need an entire day off every week to having a complete meltdown from 7 days a week with half of Sundays for church off. before they understood what I'd BEEN saying for a while. On top of that, a woman I felt called to help with a drug recovery last year and put in a lot of time and money (planted seeds) even though she's back hooked on drugs took her anger out about finding herself homeless by smashing 2 huge picture windows of my house in January, then The rear window of my car 3 weeks ago. I feel really blasted by satan, like he's trying to take me out . ...I've got some terrible abuse in my history that gave me ptsd, but had really given it all to the Lord and spend my life serving. I suppose Satan really put time and effort into launching this multi-tiered attack on me! I'm frustrated that my confidence is so shaken when I KNOW that I know that the LORD has good plans for my life....I can SEE the blessing in front of me but I'm on a shaker that's trying to de-rail me! Spiritual battle big time! I need to armor myself in God's word....but I also saw my doctor and just started Prozac and buspar yesterday....I'm feeling pretty fragile, but God is awesome. ...I just had to lay this out somewhere. My family sort of feels like good riddance because of Marks alcoholism. ...they just can't relate to how deep my loss is.....
You are exactly right. You in a spiritual war. Two things will help. The first you just did and that's you reached out here. Because the foiks here are Christian and have God's ear with theirfaith. So I am certain Satin can't stand up to the prayers your going to recive from here. He has no authority over God's children and can only do what God allows. The Father tells us to bring all our problems to Him and He will give us rest. It' can be hard to do but we have to take it to Him and turn it loose. Something I still struggle with at times. But we have to trust and stay in faith.
The second, open your Bible and ask for guidence. Ask Him to show you your way thru this. It is written that He will never allow us to go thru anything that isn't common to us all and He will always show you a way thru it. The most important, He promises to never leave or forsake us no matter how bad things seem He will always go thru it with you. STAY IN HIS WORD. Its the only way.
Your are deffinately in my prayers and am certain in other's here also.
Don't let Satin scare you. He cannot hurt you only blow smoke in the direction of God's children Remember satin wants to drag as many down with him as he can, becuase he knows he has lost and can never win.
My wife was put thru the same thing over the years as you mentioned about your daughter. It was hard for her to come to the decision she did. But Lyn started loving her from a distance. My stepdaughter would not call or come around for months then come back around like all was fine. Then it was off to the races again. So Lyn started making the phonecalls shorter and not allowing herself to be pulled into stuff. She loved her daughter as much as ever but she had to protect herself. It doesn't meanyou don't
love your daughter as much as ever, but you have to protect yourseff. Especially dealing with what we are all going thru right now. Plese take care of you and stay close to the Father, He will watch over and protect you.
Peace, Tim
Tim said it all so well. He was right on target.
Your focus has to be on placing your trust in God and He will guide you on this dark journey.
You also need to think of yourself and it is going to take all of your energy and effort to pull it
all together with God's help. You have no control over the behavior of others. That is not an
easy decision to reach but it is fact. Other people are going to do whatever they want to do
and, often, without regard to you or me or anyone. So. concentrate on yourself and what you
need and place your trust in God. He is there for you.
Blessings to all -
Darrell
Leave her grandma. My dear sweet LORD. Unexpected or unplanned by them , yes...but not my PAPA. It really helped me to get a handle on the fear that was like an acid eating me up. Man! Thank you! For praying for me! Thank God for his kindness to us! My heart is in a much better place tonight