Widow Widowers of Secular Belief Community Group

It is our group mission and intention to help support the grieving widow/widower without inference or reference to topics or conversation involving religion. Although we are of differing faiths, we chose to not bring up our respective beliefs in this forum, believing that doing so only helps to incite, antagonize and cause debate. As members here, we agree to "Live and...

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MysticDay 04/11/2016

Hi all. I recently joined WW on DS and have now found this group.

My husband of 22 years was unresponsive on our patio Feb. 16 of apparent heart attack or aneurysm, I'm not sure which. Paramedics could not revive him. We last spoke of what to make for dinner...and then he was gone at 68.

I am navigating but that's about it in less than 2 months. Terrible shock.

I like WW and they have a great bunch of folks, but I am not as religious as they are, so this group looks wonderful to me.

I am looking for wisdom and stories of how people carry on, and what works for you. Hope it will work for me, too.

I have enjoyed what I have read so far for those of us who are WW of secular belief.

MysticDay

bookdragon 04/12/2016

I am so sorry for your loss. You are just at the beginning of this horrible journey. I have been a widow for 15 months and it does get easier, not easy though. I don't have any deep spiritual beliefs. i don't know if that made the journey harder or easier. In my experience taking it one day at a time and not looking too far ahead helped. When i looked too far into the future i had panic attacks and anxiety.
My husband and i were together for 40 years and i had never lived on my own until he passed. I am getting used to living alone. My adult children and grandkids have really helped keep me busy. I still have not travelled by myself, though i do have a trip planned for the fall. Be gentle with yourself and don't stray too far from your comfort zone is my only advice. Big hug - Patti

dschwartz 04/12/2016

Hi MysticDay . . apologies for the reply. This group seems to be dissipating, primarily due to many (if not most) of having moved on to a differing site. My name is Dayna (dschwartz) and I started this group for the very same reason you have just found us . . the "religious" mantras and bible thumpers on the main board became overwhelming. Actually, to the point that I was banned for a time for speaking my voice against the rules of the road being violated over and over. Meanwhile, I started a "closed F.B. group" called "Widow and Widowers Moving On". Many of our previous members from the Secular site here have joined the new group and don't come here often. If you are interested . . you may contact me through private message or just look up "Dali Dayna" on F.B. I'm so sorry for your loss, words cannot express. I hope that whichever venue or on-line support group you find will give you a bit of peace and solace in your time of need. Big Hugs to you . . . just know you are not alone. We all travail this horrid grief journey together. Yes, we will survive it . . but it takes time, support and baby steps. Keep it simple and be gentle with self.

SandyV1 04/13/2016

I'm so sorry. It's such a tough journey. I'm not sure about wisdom but after almost 2 years my best tip is to just keep going. As Patti says, just take it one day at a time. The grief waves will eventually get further apart and you will recover more quickly. Eventually the fog will lift and you may think more clearly. Wishing you strength, peace and happy memories.

slimbear 04/21/2016

Hi dayna,
I just sent you a FB friend request. Seems like there was more than one Dali Dayna, amazingly, so I hope I got the right one. My name is Darrell Jan. Here I'm known as slimbear. Been away for a while.

dschwartz 04/21/2016

I got it Darrell . . wow, more than one Dali Dayna? LOL I thought I had the market on that one. You've been added to the group!! Hugs

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