Widow Widowers of Secular Belief Community Group

It is our group mission and intention to help support the grieving widow/widower without inference or reference to topics or conversation involving religion. Although we are of differing faiths, we chose to not bring up our respective beliefs in this forum, believing that doing so only helps to incite, antagonize and cause debate. As members here, we agree to "Live and...

33 Members

83 Posts

0 Online

kkg17 10/14/2015

This online group has really been a godsend in my grief journey but lately I’ve been feeling a need for a physical group or real life counselor. Guess I’m just feeling lonely and finally realizing it.

Today I found a GriefShare group on google, and went on the spur of the moment. Yes, it was at a church, but I hoped it wasn’t going to be too religious. Maybe meet some cool, like-minded widows/widowers?

Nope! Very religious. The leader was a parody of a southern church broad...We watched a video and the religious hosts were condemning people who died by suicide because they would not get into Heaven. But other people on the video said they knew fine Christians who committed suicide after returning from harrowing missionary trips, and they felt for sure they’d get into Heaven... Hated it.

I left all the workbooks and crap on the table, and found a way to sneak out of there without saying goodbye to anyone, so I would have to explain anything. If they’re happy with their religion, that’s great for them. They may think I’m still in the bathroom! Not going back... Going to try to find a cool therapist.

bookdragon 10/14/2015

I went to a grief counsellor and it helped-Patti

loveddogs 10/14/2015

I too may see a grief counselor or join a group, but I certainly do understand you walking out on this one! We don't need anything shoved down our throats at this time in our lives! Hugs and Love, Michele

slimbear 10/15/2015

Hope you have better luck with the therapist!

kkg17 10/15/2015

I’m thinking of trying a Jewish group or maybe a Catholic one... I doubt that every other word would be “Jesus.”

As for therapist: found one who is $135/hr. and I’d have to submit insurance forms to get reimbursed. At the rate things are going for me in this journey, this is going to be a huge hassle...But probably worth it.

hgsdms 10/15/2015

As a "recovering Catholic" I would not recommend that one! A hospice based one might be worth a try. The second one I tried helped quite a bit.

kkg17 10/16/2015

ha ha- hgsdms. When it came to go to the Catholic one last night, I never made it out the door...After reading your post, maybe it was meant to be! Thanks.

hgsdms 10/17/2015

Kkg17, I realized after I posted that I probably shouldn't have! I know we aren't supposed to mention religion but I guess I just wanted to warn you that any religion based group IS going to mention and/or stress God, Jesus, etc, so if you didn't want to hear that, you would be advised to look into ones offered by hospice, hospitals, VA, etc. Really sorry if I offended anyone. Have to learn to keep my mouth shut a little more!

statsmaster 10/17/2015

Dar,

You are just fine and offend no one that I'm aware of. D & D back in SC doing chores and getting ready to travel back to MT in a few days. All is well with us and wishing all of you a great weekend!

Dewey

hgsdms 10/17/2015

Thank you Dewey. Glad to hear that all is well in SC. Hope you have a safe and uneventful trip back to MT. Are there any fall colors yet back east? Some trees are starting to turn here even though we have had no frosts yet. Hugs to all, Dar

statsmaster 10/17/2015

Dar,

Colors very slow here in SC. Should be colder tonite. Hoping leaves turn and drop before we have to leave. Need to hopefully clean the pool good before we leave. Things going well for cats, dogs and us. Harley caught mouse yesterday. I have been told that there are no mice here but no one told Harley that. Enjoy your weekend!

Dew

kkg17 10/21/2015

Darlene- this is the site where folks are not offended by religion.
Usually Catholics seem less like “know it alls” than the evangelicals.
Haven’t found hospice group yet. However, the counselor I saw yesterday said she didn’t feel like I needed a grief group now...maybe look for groups of people just wanting to have fun or have something in common besides being a grieving widow/widower.

hgsdms 10/21/2015

I would think that a counselor would know pretty much what would work best for you kkg17. Yes, a grief group can bring you down if it is not the right one. The first one I tried was just like that. The second grief workshop was more upbeat and just helped us understand that the feelings we were undergoing were "normal' and that life does go on. At 19 months I am now going for lunch with only happy gal friends and am much more peaceful with my life which includes a possible new relationship. Do I still have bad/sad days???? Absolutely.....but I know in my heart that my late husband would have moved on with his life had the situation be reversed, and I am trying to do the same. Surrounding yourself with happy and postive people and energy is very important. I hope you find a group that has similar interests, hobbies, etc. It will make all the difference in the way you feel. Big AZ hugs to you. Darlene

deleted_user 11/10/2015

Dewey, what have you done with OUR Dayna? How's your health? Are you taking care of you? When you don't write this is what happens.....you get tons of questions.

I miss you both and hope that all is well with you two. Did Dayna win her case? Please tell you hi from me.

Much Love,
Roz &hearts;

deleted_user 11/10/2015

No wait.......Don't tell YOU hi, tell HER hi! Such a lame site.....no way to correct lame writing!

Join the Conversation