when I heard my last results from my tests that I was doing well that made me so happy..I get up to prove I will beat the odds stacked against me..Im amazed at times when I feel things are tough which they are..people have done some things to keep me going....I cant ask for much more..

What illness?

Chronic illness..tumor on my pituatuary...a macrodeoma..when it was found I was in a pretty bad way..but fighting back ..

Happy..........Wow well thats something that i have struggled with and honestly its something that i have a problem admitting to myself constantly is what makes me happy.

Most people in my situation would say that there finance makes them happy. But for me in all honesty she doesn't make me happy. The one thing that has ever truly made me happy. Yes I love her. And I know that should make me happy that I love her and she loves me. But in all honesty she doesn't make me happy. For me happy is a distant memory. There was one person in the past six years that has made me happy at a ll. But the reason I say happy is a distant memory for me is because in all honesty he has basically wrote me off because of my feelings toward him. Feelings that at one point in time he encouraged the developing of. There was a point in my life were I had flat out told him when he asked about it that there would never be a chance that I would have any feelings other than the love of a brother for him, and like a moron i let myself be seduced by something that at the time looked so good to me but was ripped away before anything could even start between us because he got as he put it "scared" but yeah anyway. He was the only person who had made me happy in a long time and since then I have had no one so yeah. But anyway I started rambling yet again. I do that way to often.

for me I have no cure..and have been in a terrible battle..Im whats called in remission how long who knows and the thought of being back where I was scares me .last few weeks have been tough and my arrow of life was being questioned but my friends have come in pointed it in the right direction..keep going..Ive been on here for four years everyday helping people..they have helped me but its time to live my life for me..I dont have many gifts in fact I see myself as a natural disaster but one gift I have is the most stupidest laugh and people say its infectious and I think its time to stop worrying and use it more .not hide my conditon be proud Ive pulled through..live my life..

It is impacting how something so small (pituatuary gland) can have such an impact in out functions. Sorry to hear you have this. I wish the best. This is one of the reasons why we should ignore all the tabboos in life and just learn to live in full exposure and free will.
Dear hugs JJ.

andy2011 hope you dont mind me saying this..you made me smile when I said about someone awesome having a tattoo of their life on arm .. you put you like the idea...you remind me of him so much..there was stores we had to work from and he was a new manager..out of all the stores he was the one who truly cared about his staff...the things he would say and do but the bottom line he was there for everyone..just wanted to say thankyou for your words and may all good things and happiness come to you..

Thank you JJ. Caring for others keeps me happy. I love people. You have lots of love in you. That makes you truly special.

I'm happy when people in need reach out to me and give me a chance to try and help them. I'm also happy when I reach out to people to allow them to help me. The love and compassion that is given means so much to me and gives me renewed hope in the human race. I want more people to reach out and open up to me. Don't be afraid to do so because, more than likely, I've experienced the same thing.

I just want to fall in love... with a woman or man. I want to wake up every morning with someone next to me. I want to be able to come home with a smile knowing that there is love awaiting me. That is all I want right now.

cupids arrow will hit..usually when least unexpected..sometimes cupids arrow needs arrow turned on them has one funny sense of humor wont go there but LOL..