I would very much like some Veterans opinions about my story and myself. I have been very conflicted about my time in the military and if I deserve to be considered a Veteran.

Please read my story and give me your honest opinion.


Just out of High School I attempted to enlist in the Navy Seabees. Our country was still drafting at that time for Viet Nam. I have always considered myself to be very patriotic and wanted very much to do my duty to my country. I went to get my physical and at the appropriate point in the physical I explained to them that I got migraine head aches. When I get these I get sort of blind spots. Kind of like looking into one of those Kaleidoscope things. After about a half hour my vision clears up and then I get the bad head ache but not always. My thinking was that I did not want to get discharged later for not telling them about it. I also did not want to be in a situation that I would be putting anyone in a bad situation if they thought the migraines would be a problem. They sent me to the line for the 4F guys and I went home.

I really felt strongly about doing my part for my country and really wanted to be a Seabee. I waited a couple of years and never received my 4F papers. So I again went to the recruiterâ??s office. I explained everything to him. By this time they were no longer drafting but it was still considered the Viet Nam era. He said that we should try it again. So I again went to the physical. I explained everything the same as before. This time I made it in.

While in boot camp I got a migraine. Fortunately it was at the end of the day and did not interfere with anything. By morning it was gone and I made it through the day.

Between boot camp and â??Aâ?? school I got married to my High School sweetheart. I went to Equipment Operator â??Aâ?? school in California. While there my wife came out for a couple of weeks and told me she did not want to be married anymore that she was gay. As you might imagine this through me for quite a loop. I did not expect this at all. I guess I was young and blind. After â??Aâ?? school I went home for leave. While there we went to court and got an annulment. I went on to my first duty station in Roosevelt Roads Puerto Rico. By the time I got there I had a very bad attitude. I had a lot of trouble concentrating and I spent most of the time daydreaming about what had happened. I just couldnâ??t seem to get my head on straight and just kept thinking about her and what had happened and trying to figure out why. I was able to function enough to keep my self out of the brig somehow. I did come close a couple of times with my bad attitude. One day while working on the airfield I was walking down the side of a C140 aircraft and daydreaming as I did a lot of the time. I noticed the heat from the auxiliary engine just in time to drop to my knees to prevent the exhaust from taking my head off. A couple of guys saw what had happened and came running up to see if I was all right. That is when I decided I needed help. I had no business working on an airfield with the frame of mind I was in. Someone was going to get hurt by my inability to keep my mind on what I was doing. I went to the hospital and saw a Shrink. After about 4 or 5 visits he told me he was going to recommend that I be sent back stateside. This was OK with me because I thought that once stateside I could get off base and communicate with others and maybe get my head on straight. I thought I would be able to get away from the strict military lifestyle and being in the States I would be able to communicate with others. I was not able to do this there because I could not speak Spanish. Then the next visit he said that they had changed their minds and they had a medical board and were recommending me for discharge due to Depressive Reaction. I did not want this as I did want to finish my duty. I thought that the original idea of going back to the states would allow me to get my head on straight and be able to finish my time. However I could not talk him out of it. I was sent to Norfolk and discharged from there with a General Discharge under honorable conditions. I was only in the Navy for about 1 year, 1 month and a few days.

This has been very difficult for me to deal with. I am still not sure just how I feel. Most of the time I feel like I did not do my duty. I donâ??t feel like I am entitled to any Veterans benefits. I do use my Vet. Benefits to get my meds because they are just so much cheaper than without. I really canâ??t afford them from the civilian pharmacy. Every time I go to the VA clinic I feel ashamed and like I should not be there. I was very proud to be a Seabee and had planned that for several years before I went in. Now I just donâ??t feel like I should tell anyone most of the time. I feel ashamed that I did not complete my time. I want to get more involved with Veterans Groups but just donâ??t feel like I have earned the right.
Please advise what you think about this situation I find myself in. How do you, being Veterans, feel about my story and me? Do I deserve to consider myself a Veteran? Do I deserve to use Veterans Benefits? I really want to know what other Vets think. This has been eating at me for a very long time now and I need to hear from Veterans about how they feel about someone like me.