THE BEGINNING: I am struggling at work with a sociopath. I have worked with her for over 3 years and only in the last few months have I finally realised exactly what I am dealing with. She fits the profile to a T. She charms other staff, sucks up to people by claiming they have soooo much in common (when they don't - she pretends), constantly lies - even in the face of the truth, she has many 'stories' to tell including a sexual harassment story about a man who I actually happen to know and know it to be untrue, she cannot maintain relationships both romantic and friends, shares all her personal and medical dramas with anyone at work who will listen, including abortion! She does people big favours, so they feel obligated to do something for her and this is how she controls and manipulates people. She is great at invoking pity and sympathy. She is of quite low ranking in the company but she learnt the manager has a close family member sufferring depression, so plays the anxiety/depression card when she's in hot water. The manager is quite soft when it comes to this and so inadequate disciplinary action if any at all is taken. She's great at reading people and knows exactly how to get away with certain things in certain ways with the right people. She's only casual as well and has carried on like this for years and is still there - this is the level of control and manipulation she has over people including management. She will not follow direct instruction when it doesn't suit her and either ignores her superior or becomes argumentative. This has affected me greatly as I am her preferred target. She is very clever in that she picks her target and takes action just when you might need her or think she's rather helpful and convenient and kind.

This is how is started for me over 3 years ago. I'd worked there for years but was considering moving closer to work away from all my friends. At that time i had little friends at work because i had such a full social life already. But I thought moving away would get a little lonely and i wanted to make friends in the area. She was there and was friendly. It lasted maybe 2 months. we'd go out and everything seemed fine - she even helped me with some car trouble. Got a tattoo together one evening, thought everything was nice right?

Wrong. If i could type and print the 50 million text messages i woke up to the following morning it would be about 6 A4 pages, Unfortunately she regretted her tattoo. OK it happens but we're all adults right? We take responsibility for that sort of us and just deal with it. It did not end there.

She held a lovely little smear campaign, telling everyone who would listen how I forced her into something she did not want and how she'd done me so many favours during our 'friendship' and how ungrateful i clearly am. She would then go out of her way to tell me everyone agrees with her and that a particular (and high ranking) staff member highly disliked working with me. I actually approached that person and found out it was lies. People who I was most friendly with at work gave me their support and wanted to let me know they did not believe her. I blocked her from my facebook and after one co-worker told her off reducing her to tears it finally stopped.

Then she switched the charm back on. Even tried to be nice to me and tell me we could be friends again as she's forgiven me. I said no. She eventually fooled everyone about how 'lovely' she is and i had co-workers approaching me telling how I should just 'grow up' and unblock her from facebook. It was awful. I felt pressured to converse with her again and I gave in to that pressure. That's how much power one sociopath can have over an entire workplace.

So anyway 3 years later after ongoing struggles I finally made the correct decision for a second time and cut her off and I am standing my ground. Blocked from phone and facebook, reported incidents to management and for the first time ever I have witnesses so it's being taken more seriously. I am careful never to be alone in the same room as her and management has implemented a 'no contact' rule at my own request. She has tried to get to me via others but people are more aware so its not working. About 6 weeks on she's already trying to talk to me, in apologetic tones but there is never an apology. I say nothing back. I have refused to work shifts with her. Currently there are some shifts where I am starting and she is finishing that can be problematic because she finds excuses to hang around.

MAIN ISSUE: Management want me to participate in mediation. I initially said yes, so did she. She has since refused but then changed her mind again saying yes. From my research mediation with sociopaths is never effective and in fact the victimising can become worse because they use the mediation to re-instate contact. Now I am dreading it. I have a prepared list of topics to discuss. But i cannot stand to hear what she has to say. The very same issues I reported to management about her is exactly the issues she claims to have with me. It's known as a pre-emptive strike. I'm just unsure if I can handle the stress of listening to her lies and having talk out and comes to terms with things that never happened! She has caused me so much grief in the last 6 months I'm thinking about resigning and have been advised i show moderate signs of depression :(

If anyone out there has been in a similar situation i could really use some advice. Would it be terribly unreasonable to refuse mediation? I know it doesn't look good but given how much this has affected my health would it be the right thing to do? I have been a permanent employe for 8 years and she has been a casual for 3 years. I just don't understand how it has even come to this. I know if she got fired that would impact dramatically on my well being and I could stay in a job I otherwise enjoy.