Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
i think instead of worrying about the crazy abusive men in life we need to find out who do we deserve to surround ourselves with? some of it is probably self esteem trouble or not knowing who we are.
THeere is a phrase called find your other half,meanng the other person will be equal to you.find the same type of person you are with the same values, judgement and beleifs.. and not a charming faker who swoops in telling you you are a perfect golden eagle with no flaws and then mirroring you to look like your other half. no real loving guy believes his wife is perfect or never gets annoyed or weirded out by them. if a guy is charming throwing compliments at you , insisting your perfect and falling madly in love with you within weeks hes a faker. normal guys react to you with a realistic view of you, they like you but acknowledge theres human qualities, things he might not like and things he does that your not a god.. if your asking yourself wow why does this guy even like me he fell instantly and ive barely even gotten to know him or what does he even see in me, loves you just for existing then this is a faker.
find a non faker guy who has similar traits to you, no one is perfect he wont be perfect like the charming psychopaths are in the beginning. describe your own self, your soul and go find a guy who is equal to that. psychopaths are evil entities so that wouldnt be a half of you because your not evil.
what are your positive qualities about yourself ,list those things and go find a guy with similar ones, what type of guy would you deserve, find the one like that.
find someone who will put up with you and get through past your negative qualities and point them out to you constructively. hey dear i dont like how you always lose th tv remote, everytime we pack you pack to many suitcases they cant all fit into the car, the broccoli souffle was not good , things you do will get on your nerves but psychopaths will never point them out during the love bombing phase. then latr trn around citicizing everything about you becme verbal abusive
but no normal loving guy will insist you are perfect in every way. find somone who its not more diffiult to live with them then for them to live with you..
list your positive traits about yourself then find someone like that who is not a faker.
im kind
im funny
i have empathy
im considerate to others
im patient and dont judge others easily
i get Along with people and rarely have drama or conflict,im a peacemaker. i hate drama
i help people
im wise and practical with money decisions
im persistent and dont give up on people or causes easily
im serious but also easygoing , creative ,innovative and dont take life too seriousely ,
i like to learn new topics, always learning,intellectual
im supportive of certain causes
i like philosophy
learning about religion
i remember everyones birthday
im usually the only one left who cares when everyone else runs away from a bad situation such as a dying relative,friend in trouble, im brave
im selfless
im smart
im always the one with the solution when no one else knows what to do
i think of innovative things to help problems
im optimistic
i dont mind failing something but to not try is worse
im very nice
i dont cave to peer pressure im individual
i see things my own way and dont care what the crowds want everyone to see.
im unique
im well liked by most people who meet me but it sometimes takes time to get to know me because i can be introverted
anyways i want to meet a guy for me who has some of the same qualities or others i forgot to list. someone whom i deserve to marry and someone who im meant for me. if im nice and genuine and a good person then there must be someone like that for me. not a faker or evil monster.
im much more of a higher leage than a monster who lies and terrorizes people. so id need someone who is my equal and a very good person. not someone who needs to be a faker
who else is my other half then someone who is as nice as i am .and im not desperate if i dont meet a guy who is equal to or as respectful as me hthen im fine ibeing alone.
also it needs to be someone who respects women in general and who see women as equal humans with rights.someone who is not too different in politic opinions or opinions on certain values. such as i dont want a guy who owns a gun... or someone who is racist or has any fanatical beleif. someone who wll be there for you and cheer you on your goals and ambitions,someone who encourages you to live to your potential and accomplish things. not someone who wants to control you and keep you at home
i cant stand guys who have old fashioned or chovenist beliefs. some guys think women shoudl be home cooking that type of guy wouldnt work out for me.
forget the old navy manequin men, find a man who has a soul,someone who deserves a great person like yourself
THeere is a phrase called find your other half,meanng the other person will be equal to you.find the same type of person you are with the same values, judgement and beleifs.. and not a charming faker who swoops in telling you you are a perfect golden eagle with no flaws and then mirroring you to look like your other half. no real loving guy believes his wife is perfect or never gets annoyed or weirded out by them. if a guy is charming throwing compliments at you , insisting your perfect and falling madly in love with you within weeks hes a faker. normal guys react to you with a realistic view of you, they like you but acknowledge theres human qualities, things he might not like and things he does that your not a god.. if your asking yourself wow why does this guy even like me he fell instantly and ive barely even gotten to know him or what does he even see in me, loves you just for existing then this is a faker.
find a non faker guy who has similar traits to you, no one is perfect he wont be perfect like the charming psychopaths are in the beginning. describe your own self, your soul and go find a guy who is equal to that. psychopaths are evil entities so that wouldnt be a half of you because your not evil.
what are your positive qualities about yourself ,list those things and go find a guy with similar ones, what type of guy would you deserve, find the one like that.
find someone who will put up with you and get through past your negative qualities and point them out to you constructively. hey dear i dont like how you always lose th tv remote, everytime we pack you pack to many suitcases they cant all fit into the car, the broccoli souffle was not good , things you do will get on your nerves but psychopaths will never point them out during the love bombing phase. then latr trn around citicizing everything about you becme verbal abusive
but no normal loving guy will insist you are perfect in every way. find somone who its not more diffiult to live with them then for them to live with you..
list your positive traits about yourself then find someone like that who is not a faker.
im kind
im funny
i have empathy
im considerate to others
im patient and dont judge others easily
i get Along with people and rarely have drama or conflict,im a peacemaker. i hate drama
i help people
im wise and practical with money decisions
im persistent and dont give up on people or causes easily
im serious but also easygoing , creative ,innovative and dont take life too seriousely ,
i like to learn new topics, always learning,intellectual
im supportive of certain causes
i like philosophy
learning about religion
i remember everyones birthday
im usually the only one left who cares when everyone else runs away from a bad situation such as a dying relative,friend in trouble, im brave
im selfless
im smart
im always the one with the solution when no one else knows what to do
i think of innovative things to help problems
im optimistic
i dont mind failing something but to not try is worse
im very nice
i dont cave to peer pressure im individual
i see things my own way and dont care what the crowds want everyone to see.
im unique
im well liked by most people who meet me but it sometimes takes time to get to know me because i can be introverted
anyways i want to meet a guy for me who has some of the same qualities or others i forgot to list. someone whom i deserve to marry and someone who im meant for me. if im nice and genuine and a good person then there must be someone like that for me. not a faker or evil monster.
im much more of a higher leage than a monster who lies and terrorizes people. so id need someone who is my equal and a very good person. not someone who needs to be a faker
who else is my other half then someone who is as nice as i am .and im not desperate if i dont meet a guy who is equal to or as respectful as me hthen im fine ibeing alone.
also it needs to be someone who respects women in general and who see women as equal humans with rights.someone who is not too different in politic opinions or opinions on certain values. such as i dont want a guy who owns a gun... or someone who is racist or has any fanatical beleif. someone who wll be there for you and cheer you on your goals and ambitions,someone who encourages you to live to your potential and accomplish things. not someone who wants to control you and keep you at home
i cant stand guys who have old fashioned or chovenist beliefs. some guys think women shoudl be home cooking that type of guy wouldnt work out for me.
forget the old navy manequin men, find a man who has a soul,someone who deserves a great person like yourself
After my first experience with a monster at age 23, I told myself I wouldn't hook up with anyone ever again. It was the worst experience in my entire life till this day. I don't think I have ever experienced such a traumatic event after him. But the urge kicked in...
My question to myself all this time is--Why do I have an urge or a need to be with someone? I hate it! I have enjoyed being alone. I had more money, I spent it whenever on whatever I wanted, I got to spoil my kids, I didn't have to worry about telling someone what I'm doing in my every breathing moment, no drama...I was almost care-free!!! Why the need to have someone?? Why!!!
I'm 31 years old now, and I still ask myself that question. Many have responded-nature. So, it's in our nature to find someone and share our life with. I wish there was a pill out there that wouldn't make you feel that urge to find someone to share your life with because you end up meeting the wrong type of people or you meet the one that YOU think is right for you, and they have no interest in you. There's no chemistry! It's really hard to find that someone that is your equal.
During the time that I was single, I dated around some. I wasn't attracted to all these guys, and some were pretty good looking dudes. I'm sure not all were attracted to me, either, but this is what I figured out. These men I dated handsome/in between/ugly/fat/skinny, they ALL said the same thing to me the first few times dating. You know what they wanted? They wanted to get laid. The first night!!! Oh, they talked about wanting to get married some day and have kids, but not with me. They had that desperate look in their face and would often ask, "My place or yours???" It's a huge turn off when you try to look for your equal, and they all respond with that question at the end of dinner or a movie. To me, when they ask this question or refer it, I see it as not interested in me for who I am, but for what I look like. I find it very disrespectful, and it makes me feel like a piece of meat.
One guy, whom I thought was my perfect equal, because he liked art, rock, and was a single dad...I met him when I got a piercing. He actually did the piercing for me, and we clicked right of way as he pierced through my skin. We exchanged numbers, and we talked... I thought he was so funny that he asked when he will see me again? And I had responded on a weekend cuz that's when I was off from work. He claimed he couldn't do it on a weekend because his weekends were dedicated to his kiddos. I was like--ok fine! You pick the date then. He said, "Friday night after 12PM because that's when I get out of work. You can come over to my apartment, and I'll make you a sandwich with a glass of milk. We can watch a movie." Uhm, no! He was trying to be clever. I deleted his number quickly!
Those equals are very hard to find. I know we're not all perfect, but where is this equal??? Maybe we ask for too much?? How do you find this equal??? Where?
I seem to do alright on my own, and I don't need anyone else. All anyone else has ever brought into my life was their baggage and drama. They've brought stress into a life where I had created peace. But that stupid urge, I tell you!!! There has to be a way to beat that! I just haven't figured it out.
I liked your posting!
there are many losers out there but look in places where there are guys who have the same interests as you.marine biology, chess,painting, bowling,etc whatever your interest is and meet guys with similar knowledge on things. loser guys are intimidated by intelligent or powerlful women i think. many women who are lawyers or doctors cannot find dates because men are afraid of their intelligence. mainly loser men are
maybe go to a church to find guys who might be more respectful or morally apropriate around women. maybe a christian singles event or group. chrisian bible speed dating lol or through friends who know you.
anyways it is terrible to be a woman bewteen the ages of 25 to 40 especially if you are pretty at all because the losers see you as a slab of meat. its the age range i think where men go crazy at you for some primal caveman reason. you cannot even be you without being accused of hitting on men , even if you smile and say hello or thank you to men they can misread that in their mind as you flirting with them and wanting to go out with them. if you blink or fart some men concider that a forward gesture or sexy, its terrible. i noticed it myself as soon as i turned 26 maybe i looked more like an adult woman by then but men began going crazy googoo gaga at me like wolves, noticing me no matter what i did .i suddenly was getting checked out or flirted to by men no matter what even with no makeup, unbrushed hair in ratty sweatpants and sweatshirt. it was .unreal
annoying too because men would misread anything ,just the fact alone that im pretty looking even in ratty hair and modest frumpy clothes ,i never dresed to get attention and they misread my pretty looks as a green light to flirt with me and assume my existence was so that they can flirt with me. like i was put on earth to be hott to men ,lol no but im older now the same nose picking cabbage patch owning 6 yr old girl but older.
its annoying and i hate the attention i get from men often , but they act like im provoking them by going out the door and being an attractive born female. what can i do i cannot change how i was born . should i wear a burka i dont think that would be a good idea.men need to get their head straight. the yneed to realize women are not objects put in the worldto get their attention,that we are human also
anyways im sure there are some men who have common sense to see that women are not objects or pretty trinckets sent to flirt with them. they know women are human just like men are and have more than looks and are important part of the world. but make sure they know your the serious type and are more than only a random pretty woman.
it is difficult in your 20s 30s or even older sometimes to know if your being percieved as flirting by men. you might be being friendly or courteous to a male and in his mind he thinks your hitting on him. you have to watch yourself sometimes dont send the wrong signal even if you dont mean to or subconcousely.
my idea is to project a more human personality and intelligence, respectable woman and look for guys where you might meet more respectful ones . even if a guy ends up seeing you as his sister or friend only it is better i think then them asumming your a girl they dont need to be respectful too. and there are girls like that too who dont want to settle down and are looking to go home with random guys but make sure they dont get confused and think your one of those girls.
I also thought to decide what qualities I would like to have in someone (friend or boyfriend) I would meet, and then decided to get involved in groups that would be likely to attract these types of people.
Plus, sharing an activity, especially in some kind of ongoing group, allows you to get to know people better. I think one problem is that we have become a sound bite society and we have no attention span to talk to anyone anymore, or even to do things for long. So, how can you get to know the depths of people? It takes time and people are complex.
I have also rethought what I used to want in a man, and find attractive. If those are narcissistic or psychopathic traits or behaviors, I no longer want them. It's harder to change your natural biological reaction, but reminding oneself about how awfully that has turned out is a sufficient turn off for me to avoid those types in the future. I think I would be much more open to a greater variety of qualities in a man, as what is important is what is underneath, in his personality, and that takes time to see.
Not that I'm looking, because I also agree with Yve63, that I feel better off without a man in my life, especially if they may well also turn out to be a narcissist or psychopath.
As to them just looking at you and targeting you, that happens to me too, and I'm a 50 something who is not at all interested in looking, or encouraging meeting. But they just come up to me and bother me. (And I never had so many approach me as when I was pregnant wearing an obvious ring -- what's up with that?! Ew.)
Maybe this is the equivalent of getting too close in your personal space. And then our mistake is that we talk with them, at least a little, and are nice, at least a little. That is all the permission they need to keep at us. We passed their test. When I lived in a more hostile place, and was not open and friendly to people, I did not have this problem, despite being younger and "hotter". I think I'm going back to that behavior, suspicious and closed to everyone until I have a good reason (a reason that I think is good) to think otherwise. And that would need to be shown over a long period of time to be believable.
There has been a lot of questions by posters recently about attracting Sociapaths one right after another despite how careful we are. I know I have been dealing with this recently, and wanted to share.
Here is a little bit of science behind what we have already figured out with common sense, as to why some of us attract them. I guess some people have this gene, and others do not. Since sociopaths are most attracted to empaths, maybe this is why disordered individuals make a b-line to us in crowded rooms. LOL!
http://neurologicalcorrelates.com/wordpress/2011/11/21/were-rs53576-gg-the-prosocial-oxytocin-receptor-variant-the-one-you-can-tell-in-20-seconds-does-that-make-us-a-psychopath-target/
This report contains a lot of psychological mumbo jumbo jargon, but is VERY interesting.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2922278/?tool=pubmed
Super interesting links! It looks like variations in oxytocin and vasopressin may really explain some lack of empathy or super-sensitivity to others (HSPs, empaths, etc.)
Interestingly, we have these extremes in our family and also extremes in creative things linked to these variations -- music composition and performance, artists, extreme creativity. I wonder if variations in these two hormone systems will explain the association between creativity and mental illness. This might also explain the high creativity of psychopaths, narcissists, and histrionics.