Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Okay, one of the reasons I'm on a yo-yo with my ridiculous and annoying PTSD is because of my family.
More specifically: my sister.
Dealing with the drama in her relationship causes me to not only re-live our childhood (and me protecting her) but also makes me think about the disrespect I endured with my exes.
Both my mother & sister are involved with "men" (for lack of a better word) who I believe are disordered.
The sad thing is, I expect that type of behavior with my mom so I think I tolerate it with her more than my sister.
My sister, on the other hand, is in her early 30s and wants marriage & kids. She used to be my best friend. We're only 2 years apart.
I think she's still redeemable if she only saw her situation clearly. My sister's very religious. She's been with her boyfriend on & off since she was 16. Her boyfriend hates the idea of kids & marriage but tells my sister a different story so she thinks she's the only one who knows the "real him".
Her boyfriend's cheated on her at least 5 times that I know of, once was a 3-yr affair with my sister's best friend. He isolates my sister from everyone by demeaning her friends & family (for instance, he refers to me as "PITA" pain-in-the-ass... b/c I'm possibly the only person who's ever stood up to him and survived). He's just plain mean to everyone. He picks out people's insecurities and puts the spotlight on them in public. Our mutual friends have asked me specifically not to invite "them" to parties b/c her boyfriend is such an ass - my sister can come as long as her rabid dog is left at home, which just doesn't happen. She can't go most places, like the store, without him. She can't even go 30 minutes without texting him.
A year ago, when they were living together, he started talking to his old girlfriend from middle school (who was going through a divorce) on Facebook. Then he slept with her (affair #5) and moved out of my sister's apartment and back in with his mother. Now he has both girls on the hook, saying he's not ready for a relationship and that he doesn't want to choose one over the other.
It's wearing on me. I know we're not supposed to abandon abuse victims and just stay in the shadows so we can provide support when they finally decide to leave, but is it best to cut her off for my own recovery?
What was the final straw in your situation... what got YOU to finally say "Wow, this guy's not normal" or "This relationship isn't normal"...?
More specifically: my sister.
Dealing with the drama in her relationship causes me to not only re-live our childhood (and me protecting her) but also makes me think about the disrespect I endured with my exes.
Both my mother & sister are involved with "men" (for lack of a better word) who I believe are disordered.
The sad thing is, I expect that type of behavior with my mom so I think I tolerate it with her more than my sister.
My sister, on the other hand, is in her early 30s and wants marriage & kids. She used to be my best friend. We're only 2 years apart.
I think she's still redeemable if she only saw her situation clearly. My sister's very religious. She's been with her boyfriend on & off since she was 16. Her boyfriend hates the idea of kids & marriage but tells my sister a different story so she thinks she's the only one who knows the "real him".
Her boyfriend's cheated on her at least 5 times that I know of, once was a 3-yr affair with my sister's best friend. He isolates my sister from everyone by demeaning her friends & family (for instance, he refers to me as "PITA" pain-in-the-ass... b/c I'm possibly the only person who's ever stood up to him and survived). He's just plain mean to everyone. He picks out people's insecurities and puts the spotlight on them in public. Our mutual friends have asked me specifically not to invite "them" to parties b/c her boyfriend is such an ass - my sister can come as long as her rabid dog is left at home, which just doesn't happen. She can't go most places, like the store, without him. She can't even go 30 minutes without texting him.
A year ago, when they were living together, he started talking to his old girlfriend from middle school (who was going through a divorce) on Facebook. Then he slept with her (affair #5) and moved out of my sister's apartment and back in with his mother. Now he has both girls on the hook, saying he's not ready for a relationship and that he doesn't want to choose one over the other.
It's wearing on me. I know we're not supposed to abandon abuse victims and just stay in the shadows so we can provide support when they finally decide to leave, but is it best to cut her off for my own recovery?
What was the final straw in your situation... what got YOU to finally say "Wow, this guy's not normal" or "This relationship isn't normal"...?
BUT I digress.
I know you're all right. I had someone say to me "The hope you have that she'll change is the same hope she has that he'll change."
It would be nice just to have some in-flesh support and one person who understands this kind of insanity so I guess it's for my own selfish reasons, too. There are days I feel like I'm going nuts and single mommyhood can be very draining. Especially since my son's autistic and can be a mega handful at times...
Thanks for the advice and letting me vent!
aagardfamily , wow that pretty much says it all !!!! thank you
bella
Somewhere in that time, he began being even more verbally abusive with my daughter and I. One week before I left him, he sat down at the table to ask me a question. I don't remember the question now, but it was something simple. Long story short, when I did not give him the answer he liked, he said "I should just kill you now and get it over with". He had often described to me how he wanted to kill me - in extreme details. But, the look in his eyes, this time, scared me more than it ever had.
Few days later he began being 1,000 times worse with our daughter. On a Saturday night near the end of September, I knew if I did not leave now, my kids and I would not survive. I still believe this today! We were gone the next day!
OMG that is very scary sorry you and your daughter had to go through that. I have a daughter with my ex sociopathic bf and I left the relationship during my pregnancy and weird to say I imagine him being like your ex husband if I would have sticked around and married him like he was pressuring me to do. During the time we were together he would say things like when we get married how much life insurance do you think we need on each other....he said it so often I started questioning would he marry and kill me
Glad you wised up and got away. Marriage completely 100% change my ex into a cruel dictator. Count your blessings.