Yes, it involves genuine caring about you and your needs and wants. That should be a two-way street. Communications should be clear and calm for the most part. Compromise is involved in good relationships, and so is consultation on major decisions. When one wrongs the other, they apologize.

All these thing are missing in relationships with Ps. They may fake it, but these things are not genuinely there.

And with a P, the P will use any vulnerability, secret, or weakness you shared out of love or closeness against you. In a normal relationship, your significant other will instead try to help and strengthen you, make you a better person.

These are some of the key differences.

Honestly, as I did not really know what was "normal" either, I have also spent a lot of time watching how more normal couples who are happy together interact. Copy that.

After many unhealthy relationships through the years, I am about to celebrate my tenth wedding anniversary to my true love and partner. I believe it is fair to say that we have a "normal" relationship, though I think the term 'normal' is subjective. Our relationship is definitely built on mutual respect and friendship. We love each other deeply and like each other immensely. But how do I know it is healthy? Because of the way I FEEL inside. Of course I sometimes become annoyed or angry with him and he with me. But overall, I like who I am when I'm with him. I feel valued, cared for, respected, and admired. I know that he will protect me if its needed, and that he will provide all he can to make my life the best it can be. I do NOT feel frightened, wary, unworthy, or confused about the relationship.

I believe a key piece of our marriage lies in the way we manage conflict. We occasionally argue, though it becomes rarer as time goes by. When we have a disagreement that becomes heated, sometimes there is shouting and stomping away from one another, but ALWAYS we return to the discussion and reach resolution before it is over. So long as either of us feels the issue isn't resolved, we stay with the discussion until we both feel okay. I remember that we've had arguments, but I honestly can't recall what any of them have been about! There are no "elephants in the living room" in our marriage, nothing that is unsaid that we tiptoe around.

The P in my life is a sister. My husband and I both have been targeted by N's and P's in the past so he is very empathetic about the pain and upset she causes me. His support and endless counsel have allowed me to finally accept that I cannot have a relationship with my sister any longer.

So, as far as "normal" relationships go, I would say that "normal" is what works for you. If your gut tells you that there is a problem, listen. If you know deep down that you are ignoring red flags, force yourself to pay attention! Being alone is ALWAYS better than being with a N or P. Always.

I think it is worth mentioning also that if one is involved in an unhealthy relationship, one is unavailable to enter a healthy relationship. Reason enough to make every effort to get out of toxic involvements.

Maybe that's part of the reason why my relationships always crashed. I don't think I really can say I know anyone who's in a normal relationship, so I have no one to emulate.

My family was totally dysfunctional, and both my sisters got ensnared in very abusive marriages. I see wonderful relationships on TV, but that isn't real.

I suppose this is yet another tainted legacy of growing up in a dysfunctional family. I've heard it said that many of the children who grow up in such families don't ever learn how to relate to others in any meaningful way. I mean, if you've never even SEEN someone ride a bicycle, let alone ridden one yourself...how can you do anything other than crash when you try to do it?