Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Hi there! I'm wondering if anyone out there has had a similar experience. When you were in a relationship with a sociopath, did he give you advice or tell you things that actually had some sort of merit to it? For example, my sociopathic ex would tell me constantly that some of my friends were actually just using me and that they did not have my best interest at heart. A few months after he said it, some events transpired (which I know he had nothing to do with), which showed that these persons were actually indeed just using me. I guess what I'm asking is, can the sociopath actually be right about certain things about you, and in the event that they are right about things like this, is it an indication that in a way they do care about you in some way? And if this person has taken the time to explain something that turned out to be helpful in the long run, can they still be a sociopath? I'm having a hard time explaining myself, so apologies, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
I don't think that this means the sociopath cares, no I think it is just like people watching and observations to them. My ex liked people watching he was very observant. The sociopath has no empathy, he may have noted that you are kind and tolerate bad traits in your friends and that you are able to be used. I'm sorry but I do think this is what my sociopath thought.
When I left him in 2013, he told me that L would soon come calling. Within 2 weeks, L suggested an FWB relationship. I guess he had never suggested it before because he thought he had all the time in the world as I had no relationships for years before the P. Then during a reconciliation in 2015, L cut me out of a planned meeting with a mutual friend from Latvia--who was staying at his house--because "if you're with HIM again, WE don't want to see you." So right, he was not my friend.
Interestingly, L got in an argument with the young woman from Latvia, and she left his house. XP was thrilled, invited her (with me) to an expensive dinner, and gave her $100 when we left her at the airport. So XP got to one-up his rival. He could not have been happier.
1. It takes one to know one, like sabia said. He can probably tell a manipulative person when he sees one, because he is one!
2. And nobody has yet hit on this one but it's important. The psychopath (and really any abuser) wants to isolate you. That means getting you away from friends and family. So by telling you these people aren't really your friends (whether they are or aren't) is one way to try to isolate you and get you away from friends and family so he has more control.
3. Being a victim of a psychopath (or any predator) likely means you have weak boundaries and you probably attract many manipulative people. So the chance of your friends also being manipulators is high.
I know that I learned the hard way that I had some fake friends, the betrayal of this is still as bad as that of my ex. My close friend I learned was cold and cruel in her heart to treat me as she did. Still she writes to me and I don't reply, it is best to move away from nasty people.
She wanted me to drive away without the inconvenience of wiping his knees or putting plaster on, my child was very upset! I know you might think it is a small thing this story but she showed no genuine care concern or reaction. She has done many worse things that this, but I think it shows that self interest and no empathy is there.
So my spath knew this of her early on, she was my best friend. He 'read' her better than me and he knew she would not be a good friend to me.
They have no normal emotions so they must fake them in order to hide. I've read since a very early age they study human behavior, body talk, face expression, voice in real life and on tv and this is how they construct their mask of sanity.