Do know that just because she "said" she would only monitor his pg. once per month, doesn't mean that's what she's really doing. Please know that. She may be seeing if/when/how quickly he "hangs himself with his own words", and lulling him into a false sense o' security.

The other children will be paying no attention to you both, unless y'all cause some kind of scene.

I don't know how he can't contact you, but is allowed to call the shots in your world like this...but it's a messed up system all the way around still, tho' getting better slowly, i think...

Civil Focused on the child and not to be derailed no matter how he may glare or whisper or threaten.

& go home and write up any details you may deem necessary.

He is trying to control/ threaten you through your child. But if you KNOW he's blowin' smoke, and you focus JUST on you child and his school issues, he HAS NO CONTROL.

GL to you and your son!

Thanks for replying. It has been a long hard road and I feel like I'm just starting to break free of him. He is extremely intelligent and very educated. He is a well known doctor and has used his position to try to destroy me. Everybody sees the charming, wonderful doctor, yet they don't see the controlling, raging, intimidating monster that he is. He has a porn addiction, he is bisexual and has std's. He lies, cheats and steals. I am so glad that I didn't sign the life insurance policy that he was trying to take out on me. Oh, did I mention that I was heavily medicated throughout our marriage. He told me I had organic brain damage due to the meningitis and encephalitis I got due to him giving me herpes. That is how I came to be medicated. It turns out I didn't have any brain damage. Now he goes around telling people that I'm delusional and paranoid. He's a piece of work.

I remember arriving at the Court House in Wilmington before my son's wedding. He was to be deployed and his fiance, at the time, wanted to be married before he left. It was March and the wedding was planned for July! A Major in the AF performed the ceremony and it was marvelous. I totally ignored my ex-H. All my family and in-law's parents/relatives acted like they didn't even notice! We always think everyone is watching us constantly but they are in their own world enjoying an event.

Your children will be healthy and happy when they see you go forward cheerfully. Vent to a friend when you are away from the kids.

No one in their right mind thinks your ex is Dr. wonderful. They don't tell you what they see or know - but, you have a lot of people on your side. Take good care.

@livingfree60 It's very, very important that you seek counseling so you can deal with him. You have had very many years where he has convinced you of his 'reality' and you bought into it (I'm not saying it was your choice). Until you have a perception of reality that is normal and healthy that you can use to judge everything he says and does, dealing with him will be a struggle.

The 'No Contact' is the perfect and appropriate first step. You need this desperately and kuddos to those helping you.

I have been in counseling for many years and take Zoloft for PTSD. I have been through a lot of tough things, but what he did to me just about did me in. I had never been through actual "gas lighting" where things actually disappeared and then some of it would reappear in places that you would never expect. It just about drove me crazy. Weird things would happen to me. All of sudden I started getting flat tires. It was one right after another. I can understand one flat tire, but I had several and it wasn't nails that were the cause. This was when he first left me and left me without any money. I had a big SUV and you can imagine what it cost to replace those tires. I was still drugged and in too much of a fog to see that he was probably the one that was doing that to me. I was clueless.

The good news is that I see right through him. My birthday is coming up and he wants to know what my son can buy me. I let him know that my son and I will work that out. That is just his way of trying to suck me back in through my son. I'm not going to react to him anymore and I don't acknowledge him if I do see him. I'm turning the tables on him and will devalue him since I still have to deal with him through Family Wizard.