Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
I realize that the sense of betrayal by exP and his family is so intense that
my reluctance to reach out to new people extends to making new friends.
My life is moving forward well in many ways, but I am isolated with just a few
friends as I lost several whole communities with the damage exP did to both
my life and my son's life (affected his high school years terribly-had to drop
sports teams etc)
Part of the problem is simultaneous to my slow poison drip of my Phusband's
abuse etc. I also had a psychopathic friend and a school gossip do a number
on me as well. My son suffered a terrible injury at school and this gossip spread
a rumor that we were going to sue the school even though I had explicitly told her
we didn't wish to. Overnight we were persona non grata. Nice. The psychopathic
friend did the usual "best friends, then use the hell out of you, trash and dump
you" routine.
I'm still so fried from all of this, that I'm gun shy to venture out. But dammit I
want to have more friends and build a community for myself. Anybody else
out there feeling like this? How did you cope?
my reluctance to reach out to new people extends to making new friends.
My life is moving forward well in many ways, but I am isolated with just a few
friends as I lost several whole communities with the damage exP did to both
my life and my son's life (affected his high school years terribly-had to drop
sports teams etc)
Part of the problem is simultaneous to my slow poison drip of my Phusband's
abuse etc. I also had a psychopathic friend and a school gossip do a number
on me as well. My son suffered a terrible injury at school and this gossip spread
a rumor that we were going to sue the school even though I had explicitly told her
we didn't wish to. Overnight we were persona non grata. Nice. The psychopathic
friend did the usual "best friends, then use the hell out of you, trash and dump
you" routine.
I'm still so fried from all of this, that I'm gun shy to venture out. But dammit I
want to have more friends and build a community for myself. Anybody else
out there feeling like this? How did you cope?
The very fact that you want to get out into the world of people again is a good sign. You haven't been destroyed by them! :) Props and Kudos for that alone! :)
Now it's up to you. You wrote on another topic that you're soon to take some classes, so you'll meet new folks there, with common interest. You could start volunteering someplace you choose and meet folk. You could get involved in some local concern. You get the gist...
It's just trusting in yourself. Even if you got fooled once and got really badly bitten, you have to have faith that you learned from all of it and can still weed through people to find quality folk around you.
Be patient with yourself. Coming back after these multiple traumas takes time. Just have faith in yourself, and know that you sometimes have to go into uncharted territory when forging a new life. Avoid drama and listen to your instincts.
You come across as a very nice, intelligent, well thought out person. I'm sure you'll have no problem making new relationships. It's just having your own best interests in focus and having patience and compassion for yourself and what you've survived.
TC&GL!
Onward & Upward! :)
I'll wager I'll be a lot older than almost every student. No matter, I'm fortunate that
I live in a small city that has tons of opportunities to get involved. I have to think about
volunteering for something that has a lot of like minded people. You're right I just
have to get involved.
I did start venturing out awhile back, but felt I met several psychopathic types almost
immediately who slithered into a couple of ACOA meetings I was attending. They
seemed to make a beeline for me. Damn! I guess it was because I was one of the
leaders and good friends with the founder of the meeting.
I really got shoved out by this pushy psychopathic woman who was obsessed with
taking over my position within the group. Now that she's been burring bridges I guess
it's safe for me to go back. I can't help feeling like this group is kind of tainted for me
now. but I guess I should remember that a group of vulnerable people is like catnip to a P.
Unfortunately my son had to drop out from that school setting, and we did lose our
community there as a result of all the gossip. It was really heartbreaking. I don't
even think this woman did it out of maliciousness, just for the attention of it. Either
way it really sucked.
He's recovered from his injury, in a great school now and started to make friends.
The main issue for him has been a profound exhaustion both mentally and physically.
He's lost so much to this nightmare of having a disturbed parent and relatives.
Things are so much different now that it's actually shocking in contrast to the horrible
chaos and nearly constant tension that went on before.
The only real drama we have now is usually caused by our cat getting up to mischief
and some appliance or other either leaking or threatening to break down (why do
they always want to break at the same time, lol ?) He and I still have issues, exP
and his family started a concerted effort of alienation which I'm still having to address,
but our relationship is profoundly improved with Pdad around.
The dogs sighing in contentment, the cat meowing for attention, the fridge humming,
the birds outside doing their thing, the sound of rattling pans in the kitchen,
the sweet sounds of normal drama free life. As I'm moving forward looking to
reconnect with the world, I'm loving this beautiful backdrop of serenity.
profoundly improved WITHOUT Pdad around. Sheesh, got to do a bit
better proofreading before I hit submit. Sorry about that.
It's kinda like having to decompress slowly, or else you get "the bends".
At school, relish in your "elderhood" and set a great example for the young 'uns. Even if you're older than the others "students", which in todays world isn't a certainty, there are the teachers, too. & the bulletin boards with many things not so accessible to the general publics knowledge. Groups and meetings and such.
&LOL...i caught the typo, but knew what you meant. :) No worries!
Glad that your son is recovering. Glad you got him out in time to be able to work on your relationship(s) and healings. I didn't have a clue as to any of this until it was too late. I have lost a son and two GCs to a pack o' wolves in sheeps clothing. A nest of vipers i had the misfortune of being a breeder for. I truly believe there are genetic links that are "dominant", and no amount of nurturing can trump it. (heavy sigh)
TC!
manipulations to take over our children. I know someone who broke
up with her P husband when her child was fairly young and he still had
many of his father's characteristics. The Pdad had 25%custody, plenty
of time to do major major damage.
I like what you said "A nest of vipers i had the misfortune of being a breeder for."
I totally relate to that feeling. I actually think my P mother in law thought of me
as a breeding cow she could use to create the only grandchild in the family.
Once he was born I realize now they mounted a concerted effort to wrest him
away from us.
The family attempted a multitude of times to get me drunk while our son was
small. First the abusive angry silent treatment and then love bombing me while
pouring me drinks.
I think their plan was to have me declared an unfit mother and take our son away
to give to P's sister the golden child. The funny thing is that the whole while I
was drinking mineral water with a twist of lime or simply leaving full wine glasses
all over the house and just asking for another one. I was too naive to be hip to
their game, I was just being overly polite because I thought stupidly that they
just wanted me to be more festive. I mean wtf I had a baby.
The look on their face when they realized I had been drinking water all that time was
just priceless. I look back on that with immense satisfaction lol.