Do you have a therapist to work thru your anger? Better to be upset and angry than dead. My ex took his life after 5 yrs on and off w a sociopath. She ended up robbing him, stalking him and smearing his name until he couldn't take it anymore. He had depression. Be glad you are alive and strong.

So sad ashleyro. But i get it. Anything to escape the pain. Fortunately i had the resources to see a therapist. Within 2 minutes the therapist said "He is a psychopath, run" I had no idea what a psychopath was. That night i must'a been online all night googling "psychopath" It all made sense now. and yes! he was a psychopath. Textbook psycho. He is history but I'm still in repair more. It does get better and I'm on my way to good mental heath.

Nutellina, I'm sorry for your extreme emotional pain and anger. The first few months are the most difficult. I think it's probably normal to feel such pain, but I agree with the other posters that a therapist would probably help a lot. I'm glad you're away from him. Good for you! Give yourself time to process all the intensity of your pain. I hope things get much better for you soon. Peace and prayers to you.....

Thank you all! I do not have a therapist because I can't afford it unfortunately. I'm trying to work on my anger, but not easy! I just wish he knows that I know what he did! Because he thinks he was smart to hide a lot of stuff and cheating.....but I'm not stupid. It bothers me he thinks I am!

I can relate to wanting to blast him with the truth! That you aren't fooled with his lies and manipulations. But I need to keep my knowledge of certain incidents to myself..... for now. Nutellina, the main thing for now is that YOU know what your ex was up to. Karma will catch up to your him. It might take awhile, but the truth always comes out.

Try focusing on you and your healing. Do you have a gym near you? I have a friend who had a lot of raw emotion from his break up with his girl friend. He started going to the gym to work out, and 6 months later he is quite buff! Yesterday, he walked into the room where I and some others were sitting. We all greeted him "Hi Arnold!". (Referring to him looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger.). Seriously, he looks great, and it's basically because he put his anger and pain into his work outs. He isn't dating anyone yet, and he says he's in no hurry. He said he's waiting for the right girl. He has a good outlook, but it's taken time.

Stay thinking positive, Nutellina. It gives you a lot of inner strength to thinking positive. And perhaps you might gain physical strength by pumping the negativity from your ex into pumping some iron! It's a thought. I have another friend who took up running. She travelled a lot of miles while gathering her wits about her from her break up with her BF.

Wishing you continued success in your recovery. Big hugs!