Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
The recent conversations I had in this site showed me the ones of us who are unempathetic with the sociopath, once we "make" them, are the highest dangers to these criminals. I don't have a history of psycho/sociopaths: the great majority of my relationships was with "normal" guys, or people that didn't have PD.
I have classified the victims of this recent sociopath into two categories: the "quick buck" (immense majority), the longer term blood donors (people from whom he took more money and that took longer to "make" him) and the women. He tried to keep the women for as long as he could, in spite of taking fanancial advantage of us as well. But it was important for him to have a woman (possibly to hide behind them, put things in their names, etc).
The two previous ones stayed with him for years (one for 11 years, the other for 8 years). I dated him, most of the time at a distance (different countries) for one year, lived together for 2,5 months, was married for 3 weeks and I was the one to put him in jail.
At least three other women here did the same. What we share is a total lack of empathy for them. In 24h, mine turned from loving husband to a "thing" I decided to destroy.
Empathy goes on a scale. Of course I don't think we are sick. But we don't suffer for them. Yes, I came close to suicide but because I looked at my life and saw disaster. I never missed him, I don't remember sex with him, I know he's probably going to get killed in prison and... I feel nothing. No resentment, no anger, no HUMAN feeling. He's a thing. A thing that destroyed my life, and that's why I write about him, I think the story is fascinating (would be more fascinating if it wasn't with me), and I will collaborate with the police to keep him locked.
I have classified the victims of this recent sociopath into two categories: the "quick buck" (immense majority), the longer term blood donors (people from whom he took more money and that took longer to "make" him) and the women. He tried to keep the women for as long as he could, in spite of taking fanancial advantage of us as well. But it was important for him to have a woman (possibly to hide behind them, put things in their names, etc).
The two previous ones stayed with him for years (one for 11 years, the other for 8 years). I dated him, most of the time at a distance (different countries) for one year, lived together for 2,5 months, was married for 3 weeks and I was the one to put him in jail.
At least three other women here did the same. What we share is a total lack of empathy for them. In 24h, mine turned from loving husband to a "thing" I decided to destroy.
Empathy goes on a scale. Of course I don't think we are sick. But we don't suffer for them. Yes, I came close to suicide but because I looked at my life and saw disaster. I never missed him, I don't remember sex with him, I know he's probably going to get killed in prison and... I feel nothing. No resentment, no anger, no HUMAN feeling. He's a thing. A thing that destroyed my life, and that's why I write about him, I think the story is fascinating (would be more fascinating if it wasn't with me), and I will collaborate with the police to keep him locked.
I think how quickly we get over a psychopath and no longer have feelings for them depends on a lot of factors. Has it happened before? Have you been in previous abusive relationships (and therefore are more apt to put up with more)? Do you have kids with the psycho? How long was the relationship? What are the circumstances of the fallout (cheating, etc)? I'm sure there are a million other things that play into it.
My first psychopath was only my 2nd relationship, after getting out of my 1st relationship with lasted 8 yrs. I am pretty gullible and tend to believe people are honest because I'm extremely honest myself. I had no dating experience. I had no clue how many of these people were out there or what my chances were of meeting one. Never thought something like this could happen to me. So I would fall for his pity parties and empty promises and gave him a few chances. We had an off/on relationship for just a few months like this. But it quickly became clear that he wasn't changing for the better and it was just getting worse. I then started reading about his behavior, as he was stalking me at that point, and realized he was a psychopath. I did some research into him and found out he was a registered sex offender. At that point, I was done and had no feelings for him. He stalked me for 5 more years until he died (despite already being convicted of stalking me).
By the time the 2nd psychopath came around, 5 years later, I knew the drill. I went on 6 dates with him, did a background check, found out he was a felon on probation for 7 crimes. Everything he had told me about himself, including his name, was a lie. He created this elaborate identity for himself including name, income, educational history, career, ex military war hero, etc. The moment I realized he was lying about everything, I was done. No feelings, no remorse, no guilt, no second chance.
So I think it just depends on a lot of factors.
Also, if he cheated on me but didn't completely change the landscape of my life because of the financial, preofessional, geographical, etc destruction he caused, it would be lovely. After all, it's just a guy. Now: 20 grand is 20 grand. Destroying half of your own company is that, period. Moving to a different country and having to decide upon immigration issures, hire expensive attorneys, etc., THAT matters.
But that was caused by "a thing", whereas cheating would be done by a guy. I could be sad, but definitely not destroyed, confused, or HERE. On the verge of madness by seeing my own life completely dismantled.
Luckily, it seems I'm getting fast on my feet again, and better than before. And he will be in jail for a long, long, long time.