He was the first guy that I've ever been with...my first love & everything...we were on and off for about 2 years....he discarded me so many times but I kept breaking NC and kept going back to him...Then it would start all over again...the lies,the mood swings,the cold-heartedness,the anger...He hated how faithful I was to him,it drove him crazy.(he would always say "why can't you 'talk' to other guys?!")..He blamed me for everything including his bad moods...He would say some sweet things to me then later on when I mentioned it he would say I made it up and call me crazy...He acted like he was superior and he always had rude and intolerant remarks about my ethnicity and got offended when I wasn't amused ....he denied me several times....Became extremely defended if I rejected him...thought it was okay to text me all the time but when i did the same it was annoying....Most of the evil stuff he said to me was over text...He never had the guts to say it to my face or over the phone (which is very strange)... I thought I could change him and I thought he needed me. I tried dating another guy but he turned out to be just like him and it only lasted 2 weeks. Towards the end of December we had a nasty breakup...I discovered he was cheating(like always) and confronted him about it over text...he got extremely upset and said that he doesnt "like" me and he never did and never will. he said the only girl he cares about is his ex girlfriend from his country "the love of his life".(whom he cheated on several times and admitted to me...and once he was dating the both of us at the same time & it devastated me when i found out) ...he told me i'm not even his type...he told me to stay out of his life forever and basically told me to go be with his brother ( he tried to get me to do nasty things with him and his brother several times.he would always say "I know you're NOT a slut or anything like that and thats why I want you to do it.please,you will make him happy.")...I felt so worthless and I felt like some sort of sex object So I turned to God and gave Him my life and promised that I will never put any man before him ever again. I will never go back to my ex and I will wait until i'm married to have sex again. This journey is not easy at all but it's worth it. I havent tried to contact my ex since the breakup which has been 5 months. Now he's dating a sociopath just like himself ( she keeps trying to be my friend,and tried to bring drama in my life O.o)and they are both cheating and lying to eachother & I know its going to end soon so i'm trying to prepare myself for when he tries to ease back into my life. So I need tons of advice and encouragement ...