Yesterday was one of those horrible days. I had finally devised a form of organizing the relationship with my mother (the source of financial support to ALL the family and from whom unfortunately I need help at this moment, given the financial blow the psycho caused). My siblings have assumed control over the relationship with her with the excuse that I am insensitive (and in a sense, they have evidence to that: I'm not very sensitive) and I may hurt her. However, they are censoring information. They finally assumed control over her money and over what and when any help is granted to me.

They moved on: my oldest brother never, in any moment, expressed solidarity with the blow of the crime. Everything was very sudden, "Joe Smith" was arrested while we were in a hotel, in a small town in the middle of nowhere and there was no money in my accounts not even for a taxi. I never heard one "I am so sorry for what you are going through" from them.

Recently, a few days ago, this oldest brother sent me an incredibly aggressive e-mail (where he deleted my daughter, who is a psychologist, and included the other brother, with whom I don't talk) forbidding me to talk to my mother except about "love". He then proceeded to say that everything I said was related to "my condition/illness" (which he, who is an alcoholic and depressive patient, diagnosed by himself, since my many doctors believe I have epilepsy...). He invalidated THE CRIME EXPERIENCE. Wow... what about the arrest document with his mug picture? What about the detective saying he confessed to all crimes?

First lesson: when manipulative people choose to invalidate you, the time consuming task of providing evidence is just that: time consuming.

Yesterday, my sister made that expression of disbelief concerning an item for which I was the cover story in a major magazine: I was the first woman to come forward about rape and sexual abuse in communist organizations in that country. It happened from age 15-18. I will never be normal, having spent three years being abused and humiliated. They do these extreme forms of torture to "rebel" kids.

So I asked: "you don't believe I was raped and abused for three years??!!" She made that skeptic expression and answered: "I don't know... I was not there... you are saying it..."

My family is all Left wing. The country's government is Leftist and they are in power. I paid a horrible price for whistle blowing against them. Why would I do that unless it were true? Actually, at the time I thought they wanted me to come forward. Only now I understand they wanted me to come forward with the suicide story - not the rape and abuse. This way, they could dissociate the two, which is what they are doing now.

My mother invalidated me since I was a very small kid. She was always saying I "exaggerated" when I told her the teachers didn't like me. She gave them gifts and said we had to please people.

Finally, reading one of your comments here, I had this insight: that is how we become vulnerable to all sorts of manipulators. I had many business relations in which clients failed to pay me, for example, because I "believed" them.

Psychopaths can read gullible people who can't read emotions, like me.

BINGO! There it is, this is the connection!


http://eqi.org/invalid.htm => the best source
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/matter-personality/201309/invalidation-in-families-what-are-the-hidden-aspects
https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/darkness/psychological-and-emotional-invalidation/