One of the things that helped me with NC is one day at a time. I would tell myself that I am going to wait just one day to make the call or send the letter. By the next day the feeling had passed. I know this sounds sort of weird but now that you are in recovery that is only about you. He has nothing to do with your healing. He will always be who he is.....that is the constant you can count on that won't change. You however, will be changing and that is on you. So when you delay the communication by one day, this is enough time for you to heal enough to make a better decision. Healing does not comes in chunks, it comes in little tiny pieces. Also, look at those pictures but look at them different. Look at his eyes, imagine what was really going through his head....something tells me you will feel sickened by what you see if you look hard enough, and you will stop looking at the photos because they will not hold the same meaning to you. You did not mean anything to him...true. But you do mean everything to others. Your value has nothing to do with his disorder.

That's the truth in a nutshell, LiveInTruth~ "Your value has nothing to do with his disorder".

You could take the pics and your writings and have a burning ceremony...safety first, o' course.

"Ashes to ashes", and all...

& be glad you survived and get to learn from your recent ordeal... :) Cheerz to that! :)

{{hugz}}

Thank you LiveInTruth- It's been a day and I didn't break NC.

I'm working on looking at pictures differently. Unfortunately, I can't burn them (online photos) but I can work on thinking about what's behind the mask instead of trying to force denial.

Awesome Allison! You made it ONE day....that is all that matters. Not what you do next week or next month.....you made your goal today! Yay for you!

Please consider checking out Spiritual Warfare Psychopaths on Youtube!

I've made it one day...and today is the same battle. Does anyone else get this need after drinking a glass (or two) of wine? Ugh...trying to make a good decision and continue NC...

I'm one day too and already feeling like making contact just to see if he replies!!! so frustrating!!! :(

I'm on day 12, but it isn't getting any easier. :(

It will I swear! Just get to day 13.

Today is day 19. I'm still struggling. Some days are easier than others. I guess you'll all understand when I say this, but I want answers. Answers that I know that he won't be able to provide.

Yesterday marked one month since the rape happened. I can't say how hard it was for me getting through yesterday, feeling so alone in this. And it makes no sense at all but there are times that I still wish I could think of him fondly. I know I need to get over that.

And even if he did tell me something- could I possibly believe him? No. I don't know what I want. I've read that closure is not really possible for victims of psychopathy and sociopathy. But some sort of relief from the emotional roller coaster would be helpful.

ANY answer you would get is part of his screwing with you. In time you will need those answers less because they simply won't matter and you will be angry enough that you will not be able to stand giving him any satisfaction of playing with you again. You can do this! D

ay 20 will be here very soon!