Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Hi everyone. I really appreciate all of your previous advice when I have asked. I am asking again if that is okay. I am saddened by the number of people....some even in my own family who do not seem to understand the danger of communicating with my Ex-P. They never tell me outright, but some of them have remained somewhat on again off again friends with him and it has caused me to be in danger. I have probably told some too much. It makes me sound crazy....like I just cannot let go, but this man keeps dragging me to court and harassing me, then pretending he is friends with people in my family. He will post things on their FB pages and be very syrupy sweet to them. They get taken in and communicate with him. It causes problems for me. I love my family, but they live in another state thousands of miles away from me. I cannot impress on them enough what I am going through. When I do, it seems like they are shocked then seem to somehow explain it away like I am over exaggerating and fall for his dirty tricks of charm and manipulation. Has anyone else experienced this? If you have, how do you deal with it? I feel like my family abandons me when I need them most then comes in and tells me what I should be doing to protect myself and how I am doing it all wrong. It breaks my heart and adds to the drama and chaos.
Your post take me back to 13 years ago when I left my p husband of 30 years. I felt the same sense of betrayal that you are describing, but I also expected it, as he had pulled the wool over everybody's eyes for 30 years. My worst hurt came from one of my grown daughters who acted as if my ex and I stood on equal ground. This while knowing, he had been caught window-peeping, molesting teenage girls, had used his position to do it. and had told horrible lies about me to our community. I came to realize that we may come out of denial about a sociopath in our lives, but this does not necessarily trigger the same awareness in others, at the same rate of speed. I certainly felt I deserved better, at the time, as I had been the only parent who had ever been there for her. But this is what you have where a sociopath is involved. People around that sociopath have been charmed into a kind of trance.
I feel sure that the normal people in your life will eventually see who is who in this scenario. My daughter has very little do with her father anymore, and she has stopped seeing me through his demented eyes. She had a kind of sickness which sociopaths cause--where she saw the world through his perverted perspective, to some extent. Which is to say, she believed the distortions he created--one of which was that bad things were her mother's fault.
The only person in my life who maintains a distorted perspective about my ex-husband is my sociopathic mother, and I have recently put her back out of my life because I am not going to be made to feel those feelings anymore.
I would say create your "family" from among those who understand what you are going through. This is what I did. I found 2 women on the Internet that were going through the same thing I was. We were each others support. I had a distant relationship with my daughter until she finally pulled her head out of her behind--which was now years ago. My sister was always a support. I removed all of the p's relatives from my life. What a relief. All you can really do is distance yourself from the people that are causing you pain. and know that, in time, some of them will wake up and smell the coffee. I know it hurts. Hugs.
I hope there will be justice and truth for you and your family soon. God bless!