Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Hello,
Few months ago received a text from the OW - who I had no idea about. The SP and I had been on and off for a long time and I believed him when he said he was not interesting in dating others etc. Ugh. So far the last two years I have had a child with SP that he would have NOTHING to do with. I mean NOTHING. But I held on, bought into his "you destroyed my life by having that child" etc. Thought I did hurt him so badly that I, and my child, deserved to be treated like dirt.
Anyway, out of nowhere get a text from the OW, his employee at his job, that they have been commmitted for over two years and she just "figured out" that he had this child with me, still sees me etc. At first, I am so scared of losing the SP that I ignore her but as the anger resonates, I tell her EVERYTHING. I mean I told her all of our history. Oddly, not really, but everything he did with me - he did with her too. Every place, every saying, every confession etc. Yuck.
So I get obsessed with her. I was so dependent on his dwindling interest in me that I clung to her. Text her everyday trying to assess if they were together again or what. Few months go by and I realize that they are back together. After all that I told her! But I know slick and charming he is....so I see how it happened.
Now I have nothing. I stopped all contact with the OW. I never confronted the SP when this woman text me - I literally walked away. No confrontation, no fight. He could have cared less that I was gone. She was better supply and he wanted to fix it with her - not me.
Problem now is that I never had my say! Nothing. I want him to know that it was losing his "love" that hurt so deeply, it was the realization that the "love" never existed. That everything about him, and us, was based on lies and fraud. I have, shamefully, reached out to him a couple times in the last few weeks asking if we could "talk" and of course no response. The usual silent treatment. Punishment for telling the OW the truth etc.
But I really need some closure - for me. I know that closure doesnt exist with a SP and I still have his child (he could care less) but I need to say something! I want to laugh at him for his new supply source that monitors all his communications. She snoops through all his things - no privacy at all - thats how she found out about me. I want to tell him good luck with that. He hates being controlled or forced into anything and that is exactly what she is doing to him. It is almost humorous.
Should I write a letter to his home? Get it all out and then be done? Right now, it is the empty space, of him not talking to me, and me trying to get some sort of ending so I can move on.
The pain is surreal. The abandonment kills. And my son is young but soon enough he will want to know about his dad and I feel nothing but guilt for bringing this innocent child into such a messed up sitauation with a father that will not even acknowledge him. Help!
Few months ago received a text from the OW - who I had no idea about. The SP and I had been on and off for a long time and I believed him when he said he was not interesting in dating others etc. Ugh. So far the last two years I have had a child with SP that he would have NOTHING to do with. I mean NOTHING. But I held on, bought into his "you destroyed my life by having that child" etc. Thought I did hurt him so badly that I, and my child, deserved to be treated like dirt.
Anyway, out of nowhere get a text from the OW, his employee at his job, that they have been commmitted for over two years and she just "figured out" that he had this child with me, still sees me etc. At first, I am so scared of losing the SP that I ignore her but as the anger resonates, I tell her EVERYTHING. I mean I told her all of our history. Oddly, not really, but everything he did with me - he did with her too. Every place, every saying, every confession etc. Yuck.
So I get obsessed with her. I was so dependent on his dwindling interest in me that I clung to her. Text her everyday trying to assess if they were together again or what. Few months go by and I realize that they are back together. After all that I told her! But I know slick and charming he is....so I see how it happened.
Now I have nothing. I stopped all contact with the OW. I never confronted the SP when this woman text me - I literally walked away. No confrontation, no fight. He could have cared less that I was gone. She was better supply and he wanted to fix it with her - not me.
Problem now is that I never had my say! Nothing. I want him to know that it was losing his "love" that hurt so deeply, it was the realization that the "love" never existed. That everything about him, and us, was based on lies and fraud. I have, shamefully, reached out to him a couple times in the last few weeks asking if we could "talk" and of course no response. The usual silent treatment. Punishment for telling the OW the truth etc.
But I really need some closure - for me. I know that closure doesnt exist with a SP and I still have his child (he could care less) but I need to say something! I want to laugh at him for his new supply source that monitors all his communications. She snoops through all his things - no privacy at all - thats how she found out about me. I want to tell him good luck with that. He hates being controlled or forced into anything and that is exactly what she is doing to him. It is almost humorous.
Should I write a letter to his home? Get it all out and then be done? Right now, it is the empty space, of him not talking to me, and me trying to get some sort of ending so I can move on.
The pain is surreal. The abandonment kills. And my son is young but soon enough he will want to know about his dad and I feel nothing but guilt for bringing this innocent child into such a messed up sitauation with a father that will not even acknowledge him. Help!
They don't love, they use.
Please now put your child's needs first. The SP May return in five or ten years time. If he has no supply maybe tomorrow. Fact is, do you really want him back knowing what you know? More importantly, how will he be with your child? You have a chance to raise a happy emotionally healthy child without the damage of a sociopath. Take that chance, in time you will be grateful he is out of your life.
Are you in therapy? If not then think about starting therapy, my daughter is now 17 months and I had about eight months of therapy which cost me but it was worth it. When you fully know the evil of these people you won't want them back and you won't care who they are with. The women who keep taking these scumbags back have no self esteem, no care for themselves or anyone else and are in desperate love with a fake person.
The OW is clinging on to a dream, you are free, please message me if you need support. Having a child is very hard for people who haven't had to cope with an SP but when you have been through relationship hell as well it can be overwhelming. Every day try to remind yourself of the truth of this man, it will get easier.
Not even enough to fight with me.