Well first of all, your friend is a little rude.

But yes - I think we can and should mistrust people based on past experience - with that person.

I don't think a psychopath should ever be trusted

I agree, he is a little rude and I think we do right in not trust everybody. There are plenty of bad people in the world. Your friend probably has no clue how we end up with these sociopaths in the first place. Unless they have been there themselves they dont know how it happens and what its like.

sorry, I wrote "he" out of a habit, maybe your friend is a she.

Getting burned by a psychopath is a warning and after that yes, you should always watch for red flags with everyone. I say this bcz those of us who attract psychopaths / Narcissists frequently don't just attract one. Many of us are Narc/P magnets.

And your 'friend' sounds like an a$$ who knows nothing about Ns/Ps. Next time something doesn't work out for him you should tell him he was dumb for trying.

Those are really good points - about us being magnets for narcissists and psychopaths.

I've been trying to figure out what about me attracts narcissists and/or psychopaths. I see myself as a relatively strong woman who does not send out needy signals - but I must be doing something wrong.

Lindajean: for me, I discovered that I trust too easily and I used to ignore blatant red flags bcz I was raised to ignore the bad stuff my N parents did and said. Ignoring it and loving them anyway was my way of coping. I am a very loving person so I overlook a lot of things. I have been getting better (very very very very gradually) at paying attention to the red flags, mostly by journaling. But I STILL struggle with 'conveniently forgetting' red flags bcz I see only the good parts of other ppl...even 3 years into my recovery. In my most recent xN rel I was shocked yesterday to go back and see that on day 5 of knowing him he 'lovingly' told me "ur f*d bcz I am your mirror." Reading that now made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I am now NC with him and all of the N's I know of. And today I am feeling more positive abt my future than I have ever felt before.

my biggest problem was ignoring the red flags & putting all my trust in the wrong people

my problem was wanting to ignore the read flags and my gut feeling that something is not quite right, I had such a crush on him by first sight...I have never had a crush at first sight before...before this I was just to naive and trusting and gullible